Blue Water: A Novel

Blue Water: A Novel

by A. Manette Ansay


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From New York Times bestselling author A. Manette Ansay comes an unforgettable story of two families united by tragedy — and one woman's deeply emotional journey toward a choice she'd never thought possible.

On an ordinary morning in Fox Harbor, Wisconsin, Meg and Rex Van Dorn's lives are irrevocably altered when a drunk driver — Meg's onetime best friend, Cindy Ann Kreisler — slams into the Van Dorns' car, killing their six-year-old son, Evan. As Meg recovers from her own injuries, she and Rex are shocked when Cindy Ann receives a mere slap on the wrist. In their rage and grief, they buy a boat to sail around the world, hoping to put as much distance as possible between themselves and Cindy Ann. But when Meg returns to Fox Harbor for a family wedding, she's forced to face the complex ties that bind her to the woman who has destroyed her peace.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780380732883
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 04/11/2006
Pages: 304
Sales rank: 801,759
Product dimensions: 5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.68(d)

About the Author

A. Manette Ansay is the author of eight books, including Vinegar Hill, Midnight Champagne (a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award), and Blue Water. She has received the Pushcart Prize, two Great Lakes Book Awards, and a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. She teaches in the MFA writing program at the University of Miami.


Port Washington, Wisconsin; now lives in New York City

Date of Birth:


Place of Birth:

Lapeer, Michigan


MFA, Cornell University, 1991

Read an Excerpt

Blue Water

A Novel
By A. Ansay

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright ©2006 A. Ansay
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0380732882

Chapter One

Forget what you've read about the ocean. Forget white sails on a blue horizon, the romance of it, the beauty. A picnic basket in a quiet anchorage, the black-tipped flash of gulls. The sound of the wind like a pleasant song, the curved spine of the coast --

-- no.

Such images belong to shore. They have nothing whatsoever to do with the sea.

Imagine a place of infinite absence. An empty ballroom, the colors muted, the edges lost in haze. The sort of dream you have when you've gone beyond exhaustion to a strange, otherworldly country, a place I'd visited once before in the months that followed the birth of my son, when days and nights blurred into a single lost cry, when I'd find myself standing over the crib, or rocking him, breathing the musk of his hair, or lying in bed beside Rex's dark shape, unable to recall how I'd gotten there. As if I'd been plucked out of one life and dropped, wriggling and whole, into another. Day after day, week after week, the lack of sleep takes its toll. You begin to see things that may or may not be there. You understand how the sailors of old so willingly met their deaths on the rocks, believing in visions of beautiful women, sirens, mermaids with long, sparkling hair.

The crest of awave becomes a human face, openmouthed, white-eyed, astonished. The spark of a headlight appears in the sky, edges closer, fades, edges closer still. There's a motion off the bow, and I clutch at the helm, catch myself thinking, Turn!

But, eventually, I learn to let my eyes fall out of focus. Blink, look again. Wipe my sweating face. There is nothing out there but gray waves, gray waves.

Clouds. A translucent slice of moon.


We alternated watches, Rex and I: four hours on, four hours off. We had a ship's clock that rang out the hours. We had charts and a sextant, a handheld GPS. We had an outdated radar system; we had a small refrigerator, a water maker, clothing and books sealed in plastic wrap. We had five hundred pounds of canned goods, nuts, dried fruit and beans, powdered milk.

We had a ship's log, where we jotted down notes: latitude and longitude, course and speed, wind direction, weather, unusual observations.

We had a float plan, which we left with my brother, Toby; he posted it in the fish store, on the bulletin board behind the cash -register. People stopped by with farewell gifts: cookies sealed in Tupperware, a book of crossword puzzles, religious cards, funny cards, cards simply wishing us well. Everyone in Fox Harbor knew why we were leaving, of course, and this was another reason why I'd agreed to rent our house and move onto the sailboat Rex had bought in Portland, Maine. Our first destination was Bermuda, our ETA three to five weeks. From Bermuda, we'd continue southeast to the Bahamas, island-hop down to the Caicos. Perhaps we'd -winter over in Puerto Rico. Or perhaps we'd cross the ocean to Portugal -- who could say? We might even head to Panama, pass through the canal, find our way north along the coast to the Mexican Bajas. So much depended on weather, on wind. On our own day-to-day inclinations.

The plan, Rex liked to tell people, is not to have a plan.

It had always been Rex's dream to live aboard a sailboat, and Chelone was exactly the boat that he had wanted. A blue water boat, he called her. A boat built to sail around the world. He'd grown up on Cape Cod, sailing with his father; at twenty, he was captain of his college sailing team, and before heading west to Madison for law school, he'd worked as a mate aboard a private schooner, cruising the Virgin Islands. On cold winter nights as we lay in bed, listening to the east wind screaming off Lake Michigan, he'd tell me about the islands he'd seen, casuarina trees and pink sand beaches, sailboats at anchor outside each rustic harbor. Passing these boats, you'd see dogs racing from bow to stern, bicycles lashed to the safety lines, laundry fluttering from the rigging. Entire families spent their whole lives just cruising from place to place, dropping anchor wherever they chose. No bills to pay, no responsibilities. You didn't like your neighbor, no problem, you sailed away.

Maybe, he'd whisper, his breath warm against my neck, we could do the same thing someday.

I like our neighbors fine, Rex.


I am serious.

At the time, I couldn't imagine saying good-bye to Toby, to my friends at the accounting firm where I worked, to our fieldstone house overlooking the lake, to the small, Wisconsin town where I'd been raised. Still, after years spent trying to conceive a child, after the shots and surgeries, the herbal teas, the special masses; after trying to adopt the infant of a teenage girl who changed her mind, I started to pay more attention whenever Rex talked about heading to sea. I leafed through his copies of Practical Sailor, his scrapbook of sail plans and hull designs. I studied the glossy brochures he -received from boat builders around the world. I'd always enjoyed sailing, and though I'd only sailed on the Great Lakes, I figured that the ocean couldn't be all that different. Water was water, after all. You wore a life jacket. You learned to hang on.

Then, one week before my fortieth birthday, I discovered I was pregnant with Evan. After eleven years of marriage, we were -finally -- unexpectedly -- about to have a child. Our plans no longer belonged to us, and the truth was that we gave them up eagerly. We wanted to make sacrifices. We wanted to shake our heads ruefully, saying, But then we had the baby so we couldn't . . .

Six years later, our lives changed again, when Evan was killed in a car accident involving someone I'd known since grade school. Someone whose birthday parties I'd attended. . . .


Excerpted from Blue Water by A. Ansay Copyright ©2006 by A. Ansay. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Blue Water 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 19 reviews.
berylweidenbach on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This book left me breathless. To understand the meaning of forgiveness, to find hope in the hopeless, to acknowledge that we are all essentially the same, to learn to let go of hate, this story is breathtaking! A moment in time that can't be changed. A "miracle child" who is born to a couple in their 40's is six when he is killed in a car accident caused by a drunken driver. That driver, Cindy Ann, turns out to be a high school friend, a mother of three girls who are all unharmed in the crash. The ties between the grief stricken mother, Meg, and Cindy Ann go back to a time when one confided to the other a terrible secret about her stepfather, who later shot himself. Unable to cope with this the knowledge in this confidence, Meg not only turned away, but implied that Cindy Ann might be to blame for what happened. Now, more than 20 years later, Meg tries to come to terms with the fact that her former friend has killed her son, as friend's children are unhurt. Meg and her husband Rex feel she should be made to pay in some way. They bring a civil suit, but before it is decided, they decide to leave the small Wisconsin town and all the terrible memories lingering there to live on a cruising sailboat. Meg understands that the suit has been dropped. Aboard the boat, and in ports where they land, they pretend to those they meet that they are childless. Still the pain and grief is relentless untill one night, at a girl's night out with women she has meet sailing, startling stories of horror and tragedy are reveiled. It is a turning point for Meg. She is driven to find answers for herself, and in doing so, risks everything she has left. One of the best books I have ever read, lilting prose, powerful sentences, astonishing tenderness!Read this book!
debnance on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A woman and her husband, Meg and Rex, finally have a child after years of trying. When the little boy, Evan, is six, he is killed by a drunk driver, a woman who was once Meg's close friend. Very Oprah-ish, but a page turner, nevertheless.
bobbieharv on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Engrossing story of a woman whose 4 year old son is killed in a car accident by her drunk friend, and how the woman and her husband sail to the Caribbean to escape.
bookwormteri on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A good book, but not astonishing. A woman's personal journey of recovery after the loss of her son.
dablackwood on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I was astounded by the beauty of this book. The story is simple. A couple's young son is killed in an automobile accident by a drunk driver - a woman who is a former friend of the dead child's mother. Cindy Ann escapes with no injury and none to her three daughters with her in the car. But Evan is killed and his parents have no other chldren. He was their miracle child, born when they were in their forties. So, the book starts out with tragedy. I wondered if I could finish it. Ansay is such a great writer that you are there in the middle of the pain and the anger. You know exactly why Meg and Rex decide to leave everything they know and take off an a boat to places south but no place in particular. They reinvent themselves as a couple with no children and no past. They live in the present and bask in beautiful weather and endure and survive difficult storms. But at some point Meg returns to Wisconsin and in the end finds the ability to come out of her despair and to forgive Cindy Ann and to start her life again. The beauty of the book lies in Ansay's ability to write such beautiful prose. She sometimes goes back and forth in time and place and since that is so often the way we think, it is perfect. I think her ear for dialogue is excellent. I'm actually afraid to read anything else by her for fear I'll be disappointed. So I think I'll read something else and come back to her in a while.
readingrat on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This was a truly compelling and well-written book about loss, grief, and the ability to forgive. The only reason it fell short of 5 stars for me was that, given the subject matter (the loss of a child in a drunk driving accident), the story was oddly devoid of strong emotional moments.
bnbookgirl on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Fantastic read. This would be a great book club choice as it would elicit a lot of conversation about forgiveness and grief.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I picked up this book because my husband and I plan on moving onto a cruising sailboat someday. What I did not expect was that it would bring up my own past and drag out emotions and questions that I never dreamed were living inside me. Long story short, my father was killed by a drunk driver when I was 5 months old: she also killed her 14 year old nephew and landed herself in prison for manslaughter. I found myself wondering about this woman who's name I didn't even know. What is she doing today? Does she think about me, the fatherless child that was left behind? And about my mother's capacity to forgive this woman who never meant to destroy our lives. How did she manage to get out of bed everyday and feed my sister and I when she was so stricken with grief.
Becky-Books More than 1 year ago
A must read. This is a shorter book (280 pages) but not short on substance. A couple's son is killed in a car accident, and the story follows the year plus after his death. It shows you the emotional journey that his mother goes on after that time, and the rifts that comes between the couple. There are parts of the book when Meg and Rex are on board, and nothing much happens in the book. However, what is happening is inside them, as part of their learning to sail and learning to live a new life - on the water, without their son, with each other.
Dysphoric_Angel More than 1 year ago
Blue Water is a decent book. The premise of the story is quite captivating, as it tells the story of a woman whose life got turned upside down when her son was killed in a car accident by a hung-over driver one morning while on her way to driving him to school. The hung-over driver is her one-time teen-hood friend who was actually on her way to driving her daughters to school. The accident influences the protagonist, Megan Van Dorn and her husband Rex to go on a sailing trip to put distance from the town and get away from their stresses and strains. Things take an unexpected turn when Megan receives an invitation from her brother, Toby, to his wedding, where he wishes to tie the knot with his fiancee, Mallory, the sister of the very woman who killed her son. Blue Water's concept is what influenced me to pick it up and read it. One reviewer before me with the review title "Eh..." sums up a lot of my feelings on the book. Some things that I like about the book are that it is very poetic in its contents. It is written with a certain lyrical finesse that I find captivating in a novel such as this, one with the central themes of loss, emotional conflict and forgiveness. The characters are very realistic as well. Nothing is exaggerated. Each character is a real person, fleshed out and rendered raw to the reader. Ansay's themes of heartache and pain are described very well with a finely honed sense of how to use her metaphors and similes that sparks utter fascination in a reader. There was one thing I did not like about the novel. After Megan and Rex leave Fox Harbor and set sail on the open seas, the novel seems to slow down its tempo a bit. When Megan and Rex are out at sea, they don't exactly do a whole lot until they meet other people. A lot of that time is describing how they're spending their time with each other aboard Chellone, their boat, and I personally don't find these sections of the book to be all that exciting. The only thing getting me through these parts of the novel was Ansay's literary finesse. The novel is at its most engaging when there is a sense of tension or confrontation among the characters. This novel is, in my best guess, considering I've never gone sailing, a lot like the seas themselves: when it's calm, it's very calm, almost boringly calm, but when it's turbulent, the tempest is thrilling and unexpected. This aspect of the novel, for me personally, is realistic to a fault. Realistic to a fault in that I understand why the slow parts of the novel were slow, but still wish they hadn't been. All in all, I thought the novel was well-written and very well-conceived, but the frequent slow patches in the story prevented me from giving it a higher rating.
sailingchef More than 1 year ago
I picked this book up attracted by the cover and title. As a sailor and avid reader I was quickly caught up in the author's wonderful story telling. I couldn't put it down. I work at a library and know we have at least one of her books. I will now make sure we have all of them. I will pass this on to all my sailing friends to read this Summer.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I didn't finish the book. It starts off interesting, and my first thought was, "Wow, I can't wait for this to pick up," because I was sure it would. But it didn't. Part of the problem is because it felt like the characters were stripped of their challenge. The first chapter is very interesting. The characters are struggling. But then, to get away from that struggle, they run away from it, and then it's just them, alone, running away. It's not very exciting. I put the book down when I saw it might not pick up any time soon. One problem I had was with the characters. The main character and her brother, are pretty well developed by the end of the first chapter. You have an idea of who they are. But the woman's husband, I felt I didn't know much at all about until the second chapter, where I knew slightly more. The husband is a main character, and I didn't feel he was developed well. However, that said, I didn't finish the book. So, it might become the page-turner I was expecting it to be a little bit further on, and I'll be sorry I put it down. The writing was very well done -- I love the way the author opened the book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was really disappointed with this read. While the first few chapters really caught my attention, I was very bored throughout the book and was really trying to "just finish it." However, the last few chapters did catch my attention again and I was quite pleased with the ending. The author did very well at making the characters real and pain was felt for the loss of the son.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
I chose this book from the reviews that were written. I was not disappointed. The book is an easy read and one that I could not put down. Being able to walk along with the main character as she went through the grieving process was helpful in dealing with my own grief.
Guest More than 1 year ago
It has been a long time since I read a book that I couldn't put down and Ansay's Blue Water accomplishes that task nicely. As a freelance writer myself, I especially loved the writing style of this author. Words, scenes and pages flowed smoothly. Truly a poignant story, there were times that I laughed and times that it brought tears to my eyes. While reading this wonderful book, I emphasized with the many characters and felt I was outside looking in on their lives. That's how real this story was for me. I would recommend this book highly to anyone who is interested in a compelling story. I also liked how the author chose to end the story. There's nothing worse than reading a book and 'knowing' how the story ends by the middle chapters. Blue Water is truly a remarkable book. I intend to read more of this author's books.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The story Blue Water is endearing yet it is one every parent hopes to never have to face. What Meg and Rex go through after losing their son is difficult for me to imagine since I have a son who is almost two. I was able to reflect on my own life and be thankful for everything that I do have. I won¿t forget what happened in this book because it does come close to home. The characters were so real to me that I put myself in Meg¿s shoes through the whole book. I most felt for Cindy Ann since she had the most to deal with and to lose in this story. On the same side, I didn¿t like that Cindy Ann had a hard time facing the reality of where her life was heading. I really thought that getting away from the small town was smart for Meg and Rex. Though I didn¿t care for how Rex handled everything after their son¿s death, he was probably doing only what he thought was best for him and Meg. My favorite parts in the story were the flashbacks Meg had. I really got to see how special Evan was as well as his relationship between him and his parents before the accident. It was so much fun and it made me look forward to the time when my son is older. I enjoyed the book from start to finish. I especially loved the ending for Meg. Rex still bugged me I didn¿t get the feel that he knew how to handle the loss of their son. A. Mannette¿s writing style was amazing. She gave you various points of view as experienced by different characters in the story. I really felt each part of the story as it unfolded scene by scene. I was impressed with how well A. Manette was able to deal with the situation of a loss of a child. Sometimes I forgot I was even reading fiction, it seemed that real to me. I would highly recommend this book to people who love books about real life situations. The whole struggle after the accident from all perspectives was not always easy to read. I had to find out what happened to both families. I needed to know if Meg would ever be able to forgive. It was a truly compelling story line and I hope to read more by this author in the future.
Guest More than 1 year ago
How much can I say that I enjoyed this book!! It should be required reading for everyone before they finish school, and the world would be a much better place!! We forgive because we have to forgive to go on and live. In BLUE WATER, A. Manette Ansay proposes that there are others who have forgiven us for something important in their lives and we need to do the same thing to retain some semblance of sanity. I have always known that we need to forgive, though we do not need to forget or agree that the offense is now 'OK'. This book tells the story of one woman who lived this experience in such a way that everyone should be able to emphasize with her feelings--both of anger and of forgiveness. The story in itself would have made this book well worth reading, but the writing style is also beautiful and compelling. This is the best book that Manette Ansay has ever written. Thank you for this book that I will be recommending and giving to all my friends and family!!