Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry

Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry

by Aubrey Malphurs


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There are many things that make up a great leader. The ability to motivate, to see the big picture, to delegate. But perhaps just as important, if not more so, is the leader's emotional intelligence (EQ). How we feel impacts how we lead, and how those we lead feel about themselves when they're around us affects how well they follow our leadership. It follows then that if we want to be the most effective leaders, we must be emotionally mature.

In this practical book, church leadership expert Aubrey Malphurs shows church and ministry leaders how to assess, understand, and improve both their own EQ and that of their followers, so that they can inspire the very best in their churches and organizations.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780801019449
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 04/17/2018
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 848,792
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Aubrey Malphurs (PhD, Dallas Theological Seminary) is the senior professor of leadership and pastoral ministry at Dallas Theological Seminary and founder of the Malphurs Group. He engages in church consulting and training and is the author of more than twenty ministry books, including Look Before You Lead and Re:Vision. He lives in Dallas, Texas.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 7

Introduction 9

Part 1 Introduction to Emotional Intelligence

1 Six Basic Assumptions of Emotional Intelligence 15

2 A Brief History of Emotional Intelligence 19

3 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence 25

Part 2 Understanding Emotional Intelligence

4 The Definition of Emotional Intelligence 35

5 The Definition of an Emotion 41

6 The Primary, Core Emotions 47

7 A Biblical Theology of the Emotions 1 67

8 A Biblical Theology of the Emotions 2 81

9 Assessing Emotional Maturity 89

Part 3 Becoming an Emotionally Mature Leader

10 Developing Emotional Maturity Models 1-3 99

11 Developing Emotional Maturity Model 4 109


A Basic Emotions Audit 143

B Emotional Disorders 147

C Listening Skill Builder 156

D Conflict-Resolution Skill Builder 162

E Networking Skill Builder 168

F Decision-Making Skill Builder 172

G Risk-Taking Skill Builder 180

H Problem-Solving Skill Builder 185

I Confrontation Skill Builder 192

J Encouragement Skill Builder 197

K Trust-Building Skill Builder 203

L Motivation Skill Builder 210

M Team-Building Skill Builder 217

N Name-Recognition Skill Builder 225

Notes 229

Index 235

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Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry 3.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Amaack More than 1 year ago
The idea of emotional intelligence intrigues me. At this point, I haven't been able to do a lot of reading on it yet because of other time commitments. So, when I saw Aubrey Malphurs new book, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry, I was excited to start reading. I went into this book hoping for a greater understanding of what emotional intelligence is and how it impacts the way we lead others. Because I have not yet done much research, I read Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders as a blank slate. Malphurs sought to provide a basic introduction to emotional intelligence, help the reader understand it better, and then put into practice habits that will help you become a more emotionally mature leader. Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders gives a very broad overview of emotional intelligence, from the viewpoints of several who have studied what it is and how it applies to life and leadership. I wanted to learn so much from this book. However, I felt like the chapters were disjointed and confusing. Several times, Malphurs stops in the middle of a thought to say he will address it in the future. A few times, the same topic was broken up into multiple chapters, which also made the book feel more disjointed to me. Another struggle for me in reading was that I couldn't discern whether this book was meant to function more as a workbook, as a textbook, or a non-fiction book that is giving a broader overview of a topic. As someone coming into the topic with a blank slate, I would have benefited from more time spent on providing examples of how emotional intelligence is played out in leadership. The few examples provided were of leaders who failed, and I felt like those examples were unnecessary to the point being made and distracting. Perhaps if you've already done some research on emotional intelligence, you will find this book more beneficial. Half of the book is resources to help the reader better develop their emotional intelligence, which makes the book a valuable resource. I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinions.
JLYoung More than 1 year ago
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders by Aubrey Malphurs, professor of Pastoral Ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary and author of over a dozen books on church consulting, leads Pastors, church staff and lay people to a better understanding of emotional maturity. He spends considerable time in the first half of the book defining emotions, presenting the different historical view points and research of leaders in the field, and describing what an emotionally mature leader is. Scripture is referenced throughout the text and presented as where our emotions come from and how we should see them in light of God's word. I found myself wondering, however, why he seemed to be ok with linking behavior and emotions so closely. He made points about emotions driving behavior and vice versa but there wasn't an argument for the fact that yes our emotions do drive our behavior but that shouldn't be the case. My emotions should not be driving my life train. When I allow emotions to drive the train of my life, I get erratic behavior. Emotions can lie. Instead of allowing emotions to drive our train, truth found in God's word should be what drives us. This doesn't mean that emotions should be ignored, just that they shouldn't be allowed to excuse or decide behavior. A problem arises when we let feelings dictate and determine who we are and what we do. I must find truth in God's word and let it drive me, let it determine my behavior. This truth doesn't lie; can't lie. Malphurs seems to promote a view that is heavily promoting feelings & emotions.  You don't really get into the meat of the book until half way through. The best part is in the appendix. I'm sure people overlook this part of the book because on quick skim through all you might see is assessment. Tucked inside the assessment is application and step by step methods to increase emotional maturity and learn how to be a better leader. Had I skipped the appendices, I would have rated this book 3 stars at most. I felt like the first half of the book and the appendices were disjointed; like there was two books put together. I would have been happy with a simple review of the first half and more expounding information in the second. For example, more practical examples and stories of others would be helpful to illustrate concepts and ideas. The information presented in the appendices is very practical and useful for all types of leaders and I felt like I wanted more. I wanted more connection to my lack of ability to change myself. It was heavy on I- what I can do to change me. It's only through the power of the Holy Spirit that my heart and thus my behavior (in relation to myself and my feelings and others) can be changed.  Overall, this book has good useful information. As with all books, you have to take some of it with a grain of salt. I feel like I can use the information found in this book to increase my leadership effectiveness. "How people feel about themselves when they are around you is vital to the effectiveness of your leadership and the influence that you exert on them for Christ." (Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders p 138) I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Aubrey Malphurs has here penned a compendium of information about emotional intelligence, tests, personalities, etc. And he’s done such in an effort to “help transform your ministry” as the subtitle puts it. The book is broken up into 3 parts: introduction to emotional intelligence (EI), understanding EI, and becoming an emotionally mature leader. In part 1, Malphurs helps orient us around this topic of EI and gives a very brief history of it. In part 2, he walks through primary and core emotions and attempts a concise biblical theology of emotions. And concluding in part 3, he walks through how to develop emotionally mature leaders using series of tests and questions. And as I read, I felt conflicted. On the one hand, the book is a thorough collection of EI history, tests, questionnaires, and an appendix full of “skill builders” the emotionally healthy leader must have. That’s helpful. Yet on the other, it proved to be unhelpful to me. It had more of a feel of a training manual to be used by a trainer rather than myself simply reading through it to gain a better picture of emotional intelligence. Such made it very inaccessible to me. But I imagine scenarios in which this truly could be a great resource for others who might have better thinking and training along the lines of this topic. Grab a copy and check it out for yourself.