How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children: Effective Strategies for Families in Pain

How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children: Effective Strategies for Families in Pain

by Allison Bottke

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Overview

What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated

Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like.

From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as…

  • drug addiction
  • mental and emotional disabilities
  • military trauma and PTSD
  • personality disorders
  • financial trouble
  • depression and bipolar
  • divorce
  • incarceration
  • …and so much more

Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.
 

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780736962391
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: 01/08/2019
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 293,469
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Allison Bottke is the award-winning author of the acclaimed Setting Boundaries® series, which includes Setting Boundaries with Difficult People and Setting Boundaries for Women. She is also the founder of SANITY Support, an outreach based the 6-steps to SANITY featured in the series. Allison lives in the DFW Metroplex area.
AllisonBottke.com

Awards

Winner of the Selah Award for Best Book of the Year for Setting Boundaries with Food in 2013

Table of Contents

1 This Isn't How Life Is Supposed to Be 9

2 Taking Rightful Control…of Your Home, Your Story, Your Life 23

3 Sanity Strategies: Stop, Assemble, Nip, Implement, Trust, Yield 31

4 Experiencing Spiritual Growth and Establishing Healthy Boundaries 45

5 A Heart Guarded by God's Love 57

6 Inside and Outside: What's Really Going On? 63

7 Befuddled Brains: Substance Abuse and Mental Illness 71

8 Diagnosis and Prognosis 83

9 Dangerous and Defiant 93

10 Connecting Can Be Complicated 101

11 Connecting Needs to Be Compassionate 117

12 The Power of Love and Forgiveness 131

13 Tough Decisions for Healthy Transformation 141

14 Healthy Support and Compassionate Communication 157

15 When Your Troubled Adult Child Lives with You 169

16 Put It in Writing 189

17 When Is It Time to Let Go? 209

A Final Word 217

Appendix A Sanity Support-Residential Agreement Between Parents and Adult Children Living at Home 219

Appendix B Sample Letters 231

Notes 235

Customer Reviews

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How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children: Effective Strategies for Families in Pain 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
For more than ten years we have tried to change our daughter's life choices to "make her succeed" to no avail. Finally in this informative first-hand retelling by the mother of a "troubled adult child" I have gained some needed practical strategies for me to learn and put into practice. Allison Bottke answers so many of my questions that went ignored even by psychiatrists and therapists who didn't help me understand what was holding back the relationship with my own child. "I was provided a complimentary advance copy of this book and volunteered for the opportunity to provide an honest, impartial review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all thoughts and opinions I have expressed are entirely my own."
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As a parent of an adult son with bi-polar, ADHD, and substance abuse issues, I tend to read a lot of books and articles for insight and guidance. In fact, an earlier book by Allison Bottke, called, “Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children,” has inspired me and greatly strengthened my resolve. Ms. Bottke’s newest book, “How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children,” addresses some of the same issues as her earlier work, but includes more concepts specifically related to “troubled” individuals – those dealing with drugs or alcohol use/abuse, mental conditions, and physical health constraints. Since she has gone through many of the same trials, her words, resources, and approach ring true and sincere. Not simply a “feel good” book, “How to Connect with your Troubled Adult Children,” validated many of my experiences including financial pressures, irrational feelings of guilt and obligation, concepts like enabling and boundary-setting, and changes that must be made by each parent as well as the child with difficulties. Her pace and writing style make this book very comfortable and approachable. It’s not preachy or judgmental, and offers many practical ways of dealing with life with adult children, whether or not they live at home. I’ve come away from this book with renewed determination to make the best of our bad situation, as well as an improved attitude toward my son and our family as a whole. The only element that I wish she had spent more space on would be specific suggestions for consequences and what to say under different circumstances. On the other hand, she provides outstanding examples of letters that can be used when working through bringing a troubled adult child to a point of independence. Several are in the book, and many others are on her website. Because the book is targeted towards the parents/caregivers, there are a variety of encouraging phrases sprinkled throughout the chapters. Many of them deal with how to care for ourselves, how to find peace within the chaos, and how to become a strong, independent adult (as the parent!). Ms. Bottke is a Christian, and this book reflects the wisdom and advice from the Bible as well as from her personal experiences. I would recommend this book to believers as well as non-Christians, because the basic tenets are grounded in common sense and individual responsibility. I was provided a complimentary Advance copy of the book from the author and volunteered for the opportunity to provide an honest, impartial review. I was not required to write a positive review and all thoughts and opinions I have expressed are entirely my own.
CindyNavarro More than 1 year ago
Allison Bottke, known for her Setting Boundaries® series of books has once again produced a book that is candid and practical for the parents of adult children who have addiction, emotional, or mental problems. How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children is a follow-up to Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children meant to guide a parent with rational responses rather than emotional responses for the needs of their adult children who are unable to assimilate into a "normal" life of responsibilities due to physical or emotional issues. One of my favorite parts was Six Steps For S.A.N.I.T.Y.! Using these steps will help clarify and form a plan of action that will be beneficial for everyone involved. This, coupled with templates of letters and contracts, can be used to establish boundaries that truly do make a difference. Uncertainty about rules and expectations raise already high-stress levels. A single book is not going to resolve all of your issues, but the practical advice, empathy, and resources referenced make this an excellent book for those wanting a healthy relationship with their troubled adult children. The first step (or steps) to make a difference are up to you... and the changes you will need to make. Parenthood goes through many seasons and you must adapt. I highly recommend How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children to guide you through uncertain territory. I was provided a complimentary advance copy of this book from the author and volunteered for the opportunity to provide an honest, impartial review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all thoughts and opinions I have expressed are entirely my own.