My Cloak of Colors

My Cloak of Colors

by Jennifer Balgobin


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In 1993 I became an aspirant of Prem Rawat and this breath and in the process of falling in love with life and taking the journey within, I was by myself often and with a desire to express what I was feeling, "My Cloak of Colors" began its journey. I also started to browse my diaries and after chiseling some words off around the writings I found poems, written years before.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781490715858
Publisher: Author Solutions Inc
Publication date: 11/20/2013
Pages: 56
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.13(d)

About the Author

My heart first led me into acting, then shiatsu massage, and when I fell in love with life, I started writing because I needed to express what I was feeling.

Read an Excerpt

My Cloak of Colors

By Jennifer Balgobin

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2013 Jennifer Balgobin
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4907-1585-8


    Out of Control

    Moving to the sounds of the universe
    sends my soul wondering to places,
    rolling to waves,
    spinning out of control,
    loosing sense of time.
    Only the now is in my presence.

    I spin in the rythm of my own heart,
    I make my place in my system,
    none enter
    yet all touches me.
    I am here.

    I put my head against the flower and kiss it
    as if it were my lover.
    My finger tip touches the dog's ear,
    all heat from my body enters it and we play.
    I dog, it dog, play fight for the love of each other.

    Doing nothing feeling everything,
    my screen behind still lids fill with smiling thoughts.
    Laughter from silence enters my mouth,
    sound penetrates my home,
    I laugh at a joke which no one made
    I laugh, I know the joke.


    Sweet juices drip from my lips
    mango lollipops dripping wet
    sweet dreams of grandma laughing in my ear
    I ask her if she remembers making love
    she starts laughing all over again
    I come back from purple
    feeling I've just visited with a saint.


    Freedom to forgive to forget nourishes the soul.
    All bad lifted in the drenching of water,
    everything washed away into the ocean.
    No wishes to remain trapped in memories
    making the body sick.

    Throwing to the wind conditioned mind,
    knowing change is iminent,
    relaxing in that thought unafraid of the world .
    My world is okay.

    Changes sending me to mountains I've never climbed
    Smiling, hearing their call, knowing in time feet
    will be welcomed on their bodies.
    Climbing their breasts, the neck to the head,
    stopping at the peak,
    where all energy enters.
    Sitting on top, looking at the beauty of the land
    Knowing we are walking plants of this bountiful place.
    Wind caresses
    hair stands at attention, back straightens
    pure energy
    paying respect to all life.

    Keep Walking

    I've got love in my heart,
    no foolish pride to make me mad.
    I lift the peace off the earth
    take it to my heart
    light up my soul.

    No tears of pain.
    I build my own kingdom.
    Tears flowing are the release
    smiles appearing from nowhere.

    Rain soothes the eyes,
    makes me wonder where I'm from?
    Can't remember, keep walking
    walking with a purpose, without knowing where I'm going.

    Dearest love of all the worlds
    lift me off this ground,
    take me to where my heart pounds.
    Love till the eyes see no more
    the boundaries of this world
    till I hear your song in every corner of the world
    when my heart finds its true universe.


    An angel, oh, only so high,
    kissed me gently on the cheek this morning.
    Returned then to the foot of my bed,
    sat quietly waiting for me to rise.

    Surprised by its gentleness,
    awakened to the day,
    wasn't afraid only curious,
    from dreams to an angel at my cheeks.

    Tender popcorn

    Joy shines in your eyes,
    seeing my reflection in them
    I know I am a part of your life.

    Your hands, small, tender popcorn.
    Putting each finger into my mouth
    tasting the newness of your baby's soul
    delicately sitting on your skin.

    Fine is your hair.
    So gentle yet grasping your touch.
    Feeling the strangeness of the outside the world
    no longer water caressing your form.

    Mother in your life will clear your path.
    The love from her heart nourishes her milk,
    this you take as your food.
    It will make you strong
    drink till you sleep, in sleep you know only good.
    Sweetness so full of life,

    Play time

    Directly to differences avoiding similarities
    caught up with the seriousness
    led into playland by your wit.

    I almost forgot how to chase and catch
    you remind me with your nervousness.
    To play I must be a participant,
    by remembering how to play from the heart I make you laugh
    within the laughter finding our friendship.

    Dolphin Babies

    Dolphin Babies
    my dolphin babies
    trippy trippy
    funny things
    from the sea
    with your fins
    you mak me laugh
    like a child I talk to you
    as if I could be heard
    from the ocean
    I can feel you smiling
    from the ocean you make me smile
    alawys feeling like a child
    when your fins go sailing by.

    The Hairy Barbie

    (try it with a Scottish accent)

    Before he interogated me from behind,
    he screamed, "you have a hairy ass"!
    I said "I'm a human being not a barbie doll shaved clean,
    so kiss my hairy ass and let me walk.
    You're blocking my way to beautiful days,
    with your pin up like needs and daily sexual catastrophes.
    You're making it difficult for me to see me.
    Yes I'm a hairy monkey swinging in the breeze, my ass is free.
    I'm imprisoned only by these cages,
    but you imprison yourself with ideas of how I should be.
    So get off of my grass
    take a look at your own ass
    and see how great you can be.

    Water Drips

    Spreading my legs open under the running tap
    water drips just so
    bringing about visions of lustful chaps
    who had so long ago sent me to delusional states
    with lapping tongues, biting teeth,
    upon my needy queenie.

    A sadness.... it was only water playing as a lover.

    No more searching for memories.
    Water dripps merrily on
    until raw and loud coming
    make the bathroom walls hum,
    pent up energy finally feeling the flow.

    Fridge Words

    Whisper lustfully
    beneath the pounding of your tongue
    love falls delicately through the mist
    incubating the symphony of white
    a moment produces sweet skin
    as moon shadaows floods sweat and power

    Incubated women
    smell like delirious petals

    Touchy Me

    Naked I sit touching myself
    no feelings for anyone,
    yet feelings for the self
    rise up dashing me towards the bathroom.

    Dizzy from my own expectations
    of translucent feelings rising,
    my hands seem thin against my skin,
    releases enough to make me realize
    those desires aren't quite dead.

    So until the enlightening moment of chastity,
    I shall feed myself my own hands
    stand shuddering in need
    before my full length mirror.


    So flighty I am when love powders me,
    All I see is the twinkle in everyone's eyes.
    I am being pursued by all
    except the one who remains distant.

    My flowers are here,
    we wonder what's with all the merriment
    deep down between the legs?
    I cannot understand myself always touching there.
    No one's bounced their balls on my parched walls
    for over a year.

    Who is propelling me to such personal research?
    Putting myself in God's hands,
    keeping an eye out for work
    staying out of mischief
    hands out of panties.

    Invisible Stallion

    You have me burning,
    tossing me around come midnight.
    My body collapses,
    entwined in white draped to the waist,
    my nipples seek.... something ...
    is anyone there?
    My lips part,
    my tongue searches for.... ahh....
    is anyone there?
    I feel there is.
    Is it you? I feel it is. Am I free to display my trust?
    Spreading myself open,
    It is you
    for my ass rises high to greet your face
    it is you,
    for when I come your name spills from my lips.
    Invisible stallion wild with fight please come forward,
    stop the others from trespassing on private property,
    you have me.

    Soulful Orgasims

    I wanted to be inside my lover's skin,
    after that bashful and soul clearing moment.
    Now here you are sitting in mine
    kissing me from inside.
    My heart radiates with your passion,
    I touch me so I can touch you.
    Beloved lover confronting me with your spirit,
    you fill up nights with soulful orgasms.


    In the steam room big black beautiful women sit,
    moisture glistening,
    thoughts reeling around in their heads
    getting muddled up with steam.
    These women big.
    I look at them from the corner of my eyes
    I wish I could paint their bodies, their thoughts.
    Black glistens. Powerful.
    When the steam gushes in again,
    they're dark shadows sitting on steep steps,
    wet and beautiful.
    They intimidate me.
    I wish I could speak but their souls are so powerful,
    their laughter real and funny.
    I want to laugh
    where do you get the strength?


    Sweetness of life you blow me,
    One minute my head next my spirit.
    Ping pong, the only time I have to be filled with
    blah blah blah.
    Happiness just rushed into me,
    now inflated
    soon deflated.
    The culture of convenience lacks concentration.
    My culture.
    Shit breeds shit and then what?
    To start all over again.
    The lack of concentration of confidence
    everything slowly stripped away,
    till only a shell.
    A pretty shell with cobwebs inside
    spiders and such crawling inside.
    Pessimist. Optimist.
    Giant piece of bubble gum.
    Blow me up,
    pop me,
    make me sticky all over
    I need to live.

    No Neighbor

    You think you're a Christian?
    Not with the iron bars on your front doors.
    Eyes saws, tongue claws,
    backside bulging with broken glass
    gnawing at your heart.

    The world even God cannot fart,
    with your tainted mind and cruel gossiping insides,
    turning out hate as factories turn out twinkies.
    Your cruelty to humanity shows on you.
    You walk as if the divine was following you.
    Steeped in hypocrisy
    you bleed from head to foot.

    A Clear Space Inside

    To return to a clear space inside,
    where creation lies,
    reaching underneath the sequinned smiles
    doubled over in pain
    pulling out the knife,
    is an entire creative process on its own.

    System's pilot on auto.
    room for tremendous disasters,
    never unforgiveable mistakes.

    Reach for the cherry on the icing.
    A truly tasty delicious life waits for the ravenous.
    Feel and feed your heart what it begs you for,
    some breathing room some tensions released.
    Crickets on the wall
    sing you a lullaby sweeter than....
    in sleep much can be healed.

    Rest your mind your will.
    Let hidden energy
    heal all that grates against your stomach,
    bleeding you with rage, sinking,
    dragging life.
    Allow the wind's compassion to make love to you
    smoothimg out troubled thoughts,
    rest your head, remember your dreams.

    Climbing out of myself

    Many times wishing to climb out of myself,
    instead tears lull me to sleep.
    Within an hour the pains of your absence are lifted,
    awakened to a 5pm tea,
    thanking stars for pushing away the pain
    into the bed through the floor back into the earth.
    Listening, looking ,walking much
    till I tire again.

    Autumn Butterfly

    Tremors are passing through,
    whispers from waves passing through my breasts.
    A slight sickness
    as molecules rearrange their lives inside my roots,
    arranging my destiny.

    Breathing deeply waves sink
    to places I cannot with mind dig into.
    Any change within feels sudden.
    I observe all the cards being shuffled in my system.

    Simple are the movements,
    all parts turning a new leaf.
    Belonging to the autumn
    season of my destined birth,
    colors finding new shades of life.
    Shivering not as the skin of old is left behind
    entering the world an autumn butterfly.

    Brilliant is the sun's worhipper,
    flying in the golden rays colors become alive.
    Cannot be grasped yet admired
    belonging to the wind,
    fence filled jasmine.

    Don't capture me you will kill me.
    Let me fly
    I will come by sitting on your shoulders.
    Songs flutter off of my wings,
    the ripple waves from my singing
    are the gentle kisses I send to you.

    Eternal Strings

    Sitting still upon this time
    crazy I appear to others
    the most sane I have ever felt
    not wondering as night time falls
    about anyone's difficulties not even my own
    difficulties are handled by eternal strings
    I have the best sugar daddy in the world

    Stilled with Joy

    No longer lazy but stilled with joy,
    beauty exceeding the eyes limits.
    Not alone the room inside is filled,
    I have all that is needed to furnish.

    Asking to be used
    to be taken as an instrument for experimentation and joy
    to be shown the bountiful the limitless
    the blooms on the wilderness floor.

    Flowers spring form,
    finding a way to grow,
    knowing life is their essence
    so bloom they must to have a life
    to live their existence.

    Whisper to a Flower

    Fear not that which you fear
    in your darkest hour all things are being prepared.
    Take heed sit with a light heart,
    beckon me into your thoughts
    hold a flower to you
    whisper to it, I will hear
    I will take care of you
    I am alive in your soul.

    The Almighty Glow

    I am blinded from the world I know
    into the arms of the almighty glow
    not restricted by my perception
    enveloped in all completion
    moving forward though standing still
    until beyond my own recognition
    I am no longer just this.

    Exploding in my Heart

    I cannot help but smile at that which surrender's itself to me
    I surrender to thee that walks with me
    exploding in my heart
    making joy dance in my eyes

    Inward Sky

    To the end I will stay
    wishing always your hands caress my soul
    everything shimmers in silence
    my way is clear.

    I can see you
    I touch you
    open your arms
    pierce your closed heart
    release this need to survive
    surrender to the joy of the inward sky.

    Love Abides

    Wishing only to remember dreams
    from places still and deep
    confident that love abides within


    Bhajans bring tears
    all come to thee for eternal rest
    have lain awake anticipating your arrival
    have shed many layers needing to shed more
    holding on as you pull another off
    have waited long to know you.

    To the Moon

    You hold me up to the moon
    flooding with feelings I shine through
    all thoughts evaporate into night
    smile lingers for a while
    baked in kisses by the moon.

    Through my Skin

    Valentines day approaches,
    I see you clearly smiling.
    You are carried far above the skies,
    in this day you will be my lover forever.

    Kiss me gently
    let me feel you through my skin,
    my fingertips
    my hair
    my eyes
    my lips
    your love forever being displayed.

    I am alive to love
    I am alive to the bliss.

    Dancing in the Air

    I cannot see the future
    living solely in the present
    this day is one and only
    tomorrow shall be the same.

    Today is my future
    if today I should listen and lighten the heart
    then tomorrow will simply be.

    If I speak the truth I will not be led astray
    only to land of soul riches
    where dancing takes place in the air.

    I Saw Me

    Riding upon Rumi's vision,
    seeing what I could not,
    back in days of bleeding rage,
    from lack of control of all the "greatness" in the world.

    Looked into a mirror,
    eyes shinning
    I saw.
    Standing still nothing being around
    beautiful feelings of eternity
    filling human angles.

    I jello became full of color,
    easily moved,
    crying for the power holding me up
    while inside was made new.
    Stripped naked
    not ashamed.

    Another Threshold

    Purposely focused on breath
    have relieved self of fears
    born from mind.

    Commissioned to move forward
    without threads holding me up
    as the world's "special person",
    the feelings are special as I seek the truth.
    Alone is something cherished by few.

    When brain thinks it knows
    silence whispers the wasted moves.
    Silence takes me deeper into silence
    to arrive at another threshold.

    You Complete Me

    I have told you how much I love you,
    you who hold me up in the world.
    Conquering all doubts
    there is clearance to that special feeling.

    Your gift soothing the world's harsh tugs and pulls.

    You complete me
    I feel clean.
    Hair, skin, body feels cleaned
    ironed out,
    smooth as grandpa's shirt.

    Accept Kindness

    Acceptance of kindness signifies changes.
    No matter the simplicity of this awareness
    the act has found its way to me.

    I a queen finally accepting my cloak of colors,
    do not resist the temptation
    to take kindness and unwrap it as a perfect gift.

    In humility holding out my hands,
    accepting changes,
    recognizing gifts
    saturating my life.


    Pulling through
    the breath,
    giving life to being.
    Stilled from external pain.
    Inside is swept through by a moment,
    life is free again.


    Have declared bankruptcy
    yet heart is still beating.
    Creative when hunger punches
    gratitude is food.

    Heavy yet walking lightly,
    platforms of feet padded sunbeams.
    Comfort in times of sorrow?
    A tree trunk,
    bending enough
    tossing my head up to the birds highway,
    filling pores with white feathers,
    flying silently.

    Sounds of clouds moving
    silences questions.
    Mating with the tree,
    belching out unity.

    Dandelions, Daffodils and Daisies

    Mystery unveils itself
    bowed head
    never again to feel alone.
    Myself arrives the way it was intended.
    Celebrating its energy
    calling out to happiness,
    seeing dandelions daffodils and daissies.


Excerpted from My Cloak of Colors by Jennifer Balgobin. Copyright © 2013 Jennifer Balgobin. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


Out of Control, 1,
Ma, 2,
Freedom, 3,
Keep Walking, 4,
Kisses, 5,
Tender popcorn, 6,
Play time, 7,
Dolphin Babies, 8,
The Hairy Barbie, 9,
Water Drips, 10,
Fridge Words, 11,
Touchy Me, 12,
Twinkles, 13,
Invisible Stallion, 14,
Soulful Orgasims, 15,
Mirror, 16,
Pop, 17,
No Neighbor, 18,
A Clear Space Inside, 19,
Climbing out of myself, 20,
Autumn Butterfly, 21,
Eternal Strings, 22,
Stilled with Joy, 23,
Whisper to a Flower, 24,
The Almighty Glow, 25,
Exploding in my Heart, 26,
Inward Sky, 27,
Love Abides, 28,
Bhajans, 29,
To the Moon, 30,
Through my Skin, 31,
Dancing in the Air, 32,
I Saw Me, 33,
Another Threshold, 34,
You Complete Me, 35,
Accept Kindness, 36,
Breath, 37,
Bankruptcy, 38,
Dandelions, Daffodils and Daisies, 39,
Magic, 40,
Submission, 41,
Silence, 42,
Water, 43,
I'm Tired, 44,
Landing, 45,
Bring Them Home, 46,
Soul Mate, 47,

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