Parenting Our Parents: Transforming the Challenge into a Journey of Love

Parenting Our Parents: Transforming the Challenge into a Journey of Love

by Jane Wolf Frances


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This book is a “must read” for anyone who is presently caring for their aging parents, anyone who will eventually care for their aging parents or anyone planning on growing older. The author brings her decades of professional experiences as a psychotherapist, an attorney, a coach and a daughter to this book. She simultaneously chronicles her own heart-warming and touching journey as well as providing a comprehensive guide on doing effective family caregiving in the 21st century. Many report feeling “deeply understood” reading this book as they resonated with the candid revelations of the author’s inner struggles. Others find hers “a sane voice in a difficult world.” You will not be disappointed with reading the dilemmas, insights and decisions told in “My Story,” as you see what can be learned from this expert’s mistakes as well as her successes.

Jane Wolf Frances offers many valuable tips and insights as she guides you from the beginning of the POPcycle, as she’s termed it, all the way to the end of her own parents’ lives. Whether you’re one of the 75 million Americans who are lucky enough to be “ParentingOurParents,” or you’re still struggling with overwhelm and confusion, you’ll need to know what’s being offered here. You will learn how you can:
oread the signs your parents need help;
ohave “the talk” with your folks;
omake crucial decisions to get the maximum benefits available;
oenroll more family to be on the team;
obalance the elements in the new life you’re taking on as ParentingOurParents will change your life;
otransform the remarkable challenges of role reversals - legal, emotional, practical, residential - into a true journey of love.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781538127964
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
Publication date: 09/17/2019
Pages: 344
Sales rank: 506,089
Product dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Jane Wolf Frances, MSW, JD, Master POP (ParentingOurParents) Family Coach has counseled thousands of families to successfully resolve their life cycle challenges - emotional, legal and practical. Now she shares her own solo journey and the solutions she found, both personal and in building community. In addition to writing this book, she’s published articles in the California Bar Journal, in legal and drug abuse professional periodicals and a chapter in a book on what constitutes “success.” She has a well-read blog for over 5 years at

Table of Contents

Prologue: Why I Wrote This Book

1 Finding Out Our Parents Need Someone to Help Them

2 Choosing POP—or Not

3 Entering POP in the Middle of a Crisis

4 Learning More Than We Wanted to Know: Our Parents’ Financial, Health, Legal, Spiritual, and Other

5 Doing and Undoing Paperwork: Making Our Parents Safer and Part of the Twenty-First Century

6 Facing Down the Life-and-Death Mission of POP—Theirs and Yours

7 Discovering Our Parents May Need to Leave Home

8 Finding the Best Fit for Our Parents’ New Home

9 Dealing with All Our Parents’ Stuff

10 Settling Our Parents into Their New Lives

11 Trying to Make a Permanent POPlan: Do You Want to See God Laugh?

12 Expecting the Unexpected When We’re Doing POP

13 Turning POP into Our Giant Do-Over: Forgiveness, Compassion, and Gratitude Fill the Space

14 Waiting as Our Parents Become Frailer, Weaker, Smaller, and Maybe Worse

15 Doing the Only Thing Left: Comfort-Filling Your Parents

16 Letting Go of the Beloved Parents We’ve Parented

17 When POP Is Over and We Need to Launch Our New Lives

Epilogue: Where Do We All Go from Here?



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