Raise Him Up: A Single Mother's Guide to Raising a Successful Black Man

Raise Him Up: A Single Mother's Guide to Raising a Successful Black Man


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There is no greater hope for single mothers than to watch their sons succeed, and African-American single mothers face more adversity than most. Raise Him Up delves into the challenges faced by African-American single moms and offers advice, scriptural support, and helpful prayers. Each chapter relates a spiritual point taken from the book of Acts, a mother's story, and draws parallels to the struggles of the modern day African-American mother. Chapters also offer stories of African-American athletes who were raised by single moms, and against all odds, succeeded.

Moms will learn to give encouragement, push their boys to try new things, and keep them out of trouble. Raise Him Up is essential reading for single African-American moms who want nothing more than to see their sons grow into happy, successful men.

Features include:

  • Helpful tips and tools for raising successful men
  • Hopeful stories of success in the face of adversity
  • Scripture from the book of Acts

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781401677824
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date: 01/15/2013
Pages: 265
Sales rank: 613,320
Product dimensions: 4.90(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Derrick Moore is a former NFL Running Back and currently the Developmental Coach and Football Team chaplain for Georgia Tech University. He is also the author ofThe Great Adventure and
It's Possible: Turning Your Dreams into Reality. He and his wife,
Stephanie (Co-Executive Editor of the Sisters in Faith Bible), have co-authored the Alec London series. They live in the Atlanta area and have three teens. Visit his website at www.derrickmoorespeaking.com.

Stephanie Perry Moore is author of more than 35 inspirational books. As general editor for Nia Publishing, she produced Men of Color Study Bible, Wisdom and Grace: StudyBible for Young Women of Color, Strength and Honor Bible for Young Men of Color, Women of Color Devotional Bible and African American Family Bible.

Read an Excerpt

raise him up

A Single Mother's Guide to Raising a Successful Black Man

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2013 Derrick Moore & Stephanie Perry Moore
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4016-7783-1

Chapter One

wasting no time

Teach him to not procrastinate

(Taken from Acts 2:14–21)

Motivational Point

Before we can teach others a subject, we must first master it ourselves. However, I'm talking to a super mom. You are on the ball. How to be a mom is a subject you know well, right?

Let's begin with a little riddle. What hangs on a wall, has twelve numbers, a short hand, a long hand, and makes a tick-tock sound? I can see there's no tricking you, my sister. Of course, it's a clock.

Oh, Father Time—that ever-present, ever-passing, ever-dominating element of life. We can try to manage it; for certain, we can't control it. Time continues at a steady pace that never changes. It doesn't discriminate. It doesn't respect any person, and we're all given the same amount on any given day. Sixty seconds in every minute. Sixty minutes in every hour. The hours turn into days; the days turn into weeks; the weeks turn into months; and before you know it, months have turned into years. And oh, how fast the years roll by! I'm sure your baby boy isn't a baby anymore. Where do the years go?

Therefore, not wasting time is the first lesson we need to make sure your son masters. Whatever he does in life, he is up against the clock, so he must get to it—homework, SAT testing, getting into college, finding a job, and the list goes on. As his mother, you must take seriously your duty to call him on to greater things. Your urging must be done now. If he's in preschool, it's time to urge him on. If he's in elementary school, encourage him to excel. If he's in middle school, exhort him to press harder. When high school days arrive, challenge him to give it all he's got. Even when your son passes that magic age of eighteen, do not stop urging him to surpass expectations.

Don't allow your son to put off the journey to success. Exhort him to get on the path to success today. Putting it off will only give him less of an opportunity to attain the dream and waiting will only push the dream further away. Time is of the essence and every precious second counts. Procrastination is the enemy of opportunity. Opportunity is what you have in your possession. Your son is your opportunity to dream of what can be in spite of what has been.

What has been your story? Very few resources? Limited access? Sleepless nights? Begin focusing on what can be: many resources, limitless access, and nights of peaceful rest. You can't delay because you've been denied. Instead, you have to demand of your son and of yourself that the dream will live and not die. Never mind what is missing. It only matters what is present. So get to it, mom. Begin moving him in the direction of his destiny, and don't let circumstances or people around you talk you out of it. Be dedicated and determined to arrive at the place where your dreams live. I know, with this mind set, your efforts will be rewarded and your dreams for your son will be realized. (This is not a solo effort. You may be a single mother, but you are not raising him on your own. The God of the Bible is an expert on parenting. I think He knows a little about raising a son.)

So, dear sister, you are facing what is called the "tyranny of the urgent." You see, the urgent demands you give whatever you have to meet a challenge ... right now! You can't wait to make your move. So now that you have your goal for your son in your sight, you have to seize the moment. While it is true time marches relentlessly on, this moment can mark the beginning of a profound life change. If you can help your son capture the moment, he can capture his dreams. The opportunity is here and you are ready! This moment can make time stand still as your son's dream comes into view. Now that's time management! Nothing wasted, everything gained, and no procrastination!

Spiritual Impact


(Acts 2:14–21)

Right after Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to empower His church, Peter became a force to be reckoned with.

But Peter, standing up with the eleven, lifted up his voice, and said unto them, Ye men of Judaea, and all ye that dwell at Jerusalem, be this known unto you, and hearken to my words. (Acts 2:14)

With most sermons, the audience is equipped with a title for the message. A title is normally given for the sole purpose of providing a sense of direction. The intention of the speaker is to relate everything—the introduction, the body, and the—conclusion—back to the title. All a speaker says illuminates the title of his message.

Peter, being the passionate apostle to the Jews, wasted no time in referring to an Old Testament prophecy (Joel 2:28–31). Peter quoted a passage that was quite significant to the Jewish people about God pouring out His Spirit on them.

For these are not drunken, as ye suppose, seeing it is but the third hour of the day. But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel; And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy: And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke: The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before that great and notable day of the Lord come: And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. (Acts 2:15–21)

Peter was so fired up that he reached into Old Testament prophesy to tell everyone that salvation is available to any who call on the name of the Lord. Peter was determined to get his message across. To do so, he used everything at his disposal to reach those who listened. He poured out his heart and exhausted every means to bring life to all who would come.

In the case of Peter's first sermon, the title is not mentioned; however, it can be concluded from his introduction. If a title were assigned to Peter's sermon, it could be called, An Inside Job! Peter's message expounds on the inner working of the Holy Spirit and the outward impact He will have on a surrendered life.

After the introduction was given, Peter got right to the body of his message. With his straight-to-the-point, no-beating-around-the-bush approach, he unapologetically expressed to the people of Israel present that day that it was God's plan for Jesus to die for the sin of the world and to then be raised from the dead. This meant that those who crucified Jesus did so within the foreknowledge and plan of God. But the evil intent of man resulted in the coming of the promised Holy Spirit—the One who would live and dwell in the hearts of all believers.

Peter's conclusion was quite simple—Jesus, the man crucified, was the Messiah.

Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly, that God hath made the same Jesus, whom ye have crucified, both Lord and Christ. Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their hear t, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? (Acts 2:36, 37)

Peter then went on to present to his listeners the way of applying the truth he had spoken to them—repent and be baptized.

Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the LORD our God shall call. (Acts 2:38, 39)

Peter extended the same invitation we have all received: to come and be saved from the power of sin and death and be granted access to the throne of Almighty God by way of Jesus' death on the cross.

Mama's Story:


Lesson: Don't wait; do all that can be done.

I will never forget the day my mother taught me the importance of not wasting time. I was in my freshman year of college and had walked away from a scholarship because I just felt something else was out there for me. You see, I wanted to play professional football. But, because I had not peeked athletically in high school, the big Division 1 schools passed me by.

Even though it was no big-name school, my mother was elated when Albany State University, a college in our home town, gave me a shot on their football team. She could still watch me; she could still feed me; she could still cheer me on—all because I was close to home. Nonetheless, because I wanted to play and a great number of players with more seniority were standing in my way, I decided to leave. You see, because of my mother's influence I have never been the sitting-around type.

Immediately after that tough choice, I wondered if I had made a big mistake. But, my mother would not let me sulk in my confusion. Absolutely not! She told me the clock was ticking and what was done was done. She told me God was with me either way; and since I'd chosen this new path, I'd better get to moving so He could bring me to my blessing. She told me sitting around on my hands was not going to teach me anything; she said I needed to use them. Taking in her words, I trained harder. I kept believing that one day I'd need to show the new coaches I knew my way around the gridiron.

I went to a junior college immediately after Albany State. I understood that I needed to stay in school so I'd be on track academically when I got my next opportunity. And I stayed in God's word, realizing that, with Him, I could do all things.

It was only a year and a half later when I got the call to walk on (to come to school without a scholarship) at Troy State. We were poor and the cost at Troy was high; but God—provided—a bank granted me a student loan that would cover all my expenses.

You know, when you get to the business at hand, God shows His hand and works miracles. When I got to Troy and worked out for the coaches, they were so impressed with my character, my past semester grades, and mostly, my skills, they gave me a full scholarship. My mom wasted no time before proudly returning the student loan check to the bank.

She told me I could do it. She told me not to waste a second doubting. She told me God would see me through. She was right. Thank God I listened.

Sister, teach your son to not procrastinate. Keep pushing him until he moves on his own. The results awaiting him are overwhelming. Press on!

* * *

Athletic Tale (to share with your son)


Sports stories motivate and inspire us to achieve. In this portion, I am excited to share an athletic account that moved me and helped me learn to never waste precious time. Now girl, I know you might not be the athletic type and this jargon may not connect with you, but hang in there. I believe this story (and the ones like it in the next eleven chapters) will still touch you, sister, and give you something encouraging to share with your son.

It is said lightening doesn't strike twice in the same place; and I agree with that saying. However, in the case of now-retired, football player, Frank Reich, it did exactly as it reportedly will not do; it struck resoundingly in the same place twice—two different cities, two different teams, two different stadiums. The center of the duplicate activity was Frank, a quarterback who made history. I can call a time out here if you need me too. Okay, let's keep going.

Nearly a decade apart, two of the most improbable comebacks would take place. What made them improbable weren't the games themselves, but the man who orchestrated them both while snatching victory from the hands of defeat. The words of offensive guru, Ralph Friedgen, spoken about Frank Reich to Reich's father were nearly prophetic, "Frank's going to have to be ready. He'll have to come in and win a game for us."

Frank Reich attended the University of Maryland on a football scholarship. Early in the 1984 season, Reich suffered a separated shoulder and lost his starting quarterback position. Stan Gelbaugh replaced him. Gelbaugh was playing well, so there was no need to reinsert Frank, even though he had healed from his injury. Frank learned firsthand how coaches favor whichever quarterback is flourishing at the moment; and early in 1984, that favored quarterback wasn't Frank Reich.

However, on November 10, 1984, at the old Orange Bowl Stadium, Frank was brought off the bench to play for Stan Gelbaugh. Frank's team was down 31 to 0, and there were only thirty minutes left in the game against Miami. Whatever Frank had to do, he needed to get it done quickly. He realized he had two enemies: one, the Miami Hurricanes, and the other, ole Father Time. Time was short and the seconds ticked mercilessly away, but a lightning strike was about to happen.

During the third quarter, Frank led the Maryland Terrapins on multiple scoring drives. Three touchdowns in the third quarter and a fourth at the start of the final quarter turned what was a blowout into a close game. With the score at 34 to 28, with Miami leading, Frank led his team to one final, amazing touchdown and Maryland won the game 42 to 40. Reich had led his team to the most incredible comeback in NCAA history.

Lightening would also strike a second time while he was playing for the Buffalo Bills. Frank would lead the Bills back from what appeared to be an insurmountable lead by the then Houston Oilers. Both teams had made the playoffs as wild card teams. What was ironic was that the two teams had met in the final, pre-season game with Buffalo being defeated by Houston 27 to 3 in Houston. They weren't supposed to have a chance.

Houston completely dominated the first quarter with quarterback, Warren Moon, taking a 28 to 3 halftime lead. Compounding the problem, the Bills and Reich would start the second half by throwing an interception that was returned for a touchdown by the other team.

Talk about going from bad to worse! The Bills were in trouble of enormous status. Down 35 to 3 and less than fourteen minutes left in the third quarter, Frank and the Buffalo Bills began to mount a comeback. If you know anything about Buffalo football at Rich Stadium, it is famous for gusting winds that blow tremendously. It seemed upon the ensuing kick-off, that not fate, but faith would have it so that the squib kick would travel no further than the fifty yard line.

Ten plays later, Frank threw a touchdown and continued to lead the team to tie the score and send the game into over time.

Houston won the coin toss and would get the ball first, but to no avail. The ball was intercepted. The Bills and Frank Reich moved the ball for a few more yards to set up the game winning field goal. Frank Reich finished the game with a 21 of 34 passing day, 289 yards, and 4 touchdowns to lead the Bills to a virtually impossible comeback. Well, unless you were Frank Reich and the Buffalo Bills. Now that's getting right to it!

Sports stories may not be your thing; but sports are a way of reaching and teaching young men. Frank Reich's story shows so clearly how important it is to stay the course, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. Pursuing a dream and pushing toward that winning life goal may not be easy; it may require that your son face down others who consider his dream impossible. Others may even count him out. But if you keep encouraging your son to strive for sweet victory, if you cheer him on in the face of threatened defeats, you can watch with pride as he overcomes all obstacles and captures the win for himself and his life.

Inspirational Insight

Stephanie's Message

Wow, sister! I hope you were inspired by the first four parts of chapter one. I know I was. Derrick has helped me see that time certainly plays a major factor in the outcome of many of life's experiences.

Wise management of time is critical as you pursue your dreams. Therefore, it is crucial to teach your son to have a driving passion for making the most of his time. Setting a course and making every minute count as he pursues his destiny is a powerful formula for success.

Here are three Inspirational Insights to help you lead your son to sweet victory:

First, teach him to know what he wants and to want it badly. Help your son hone in on his dream. You can never underestimate the "want to" factor. Once your son has allowed his dream to grab hold of him, his desire will give birth to the passion required to attain it. When your son embraces his dream with a passion to see it come true, it will be much easier for you, as his mom, to help him work toward that dream. Not only must you lead your son to have faith that his dream is attainable, you must teach him to put work behind that faith. Simply put, faith without works is dead. Teach your son that work will demonstrate faith and faith will produce the desired result.


Excerpted from raise him up by DERRICK MOORE STEPHANIE PERRY MOORE Copyright © 2013 by Derrick Moore & Stephanie Perry Moore. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


General Overview....................13
Part 1 – Show Him the Power of Peter....................15
Chapter One – Wasting No Time (Acts 2:14–21)....................19
Chapter Two – Give What You Have (Acts 3:1–6)....................37
Chapter Three – Questioned By Others (Acts 4:1–22)....................55
Chapter Four – Walking Tall (Acts 5:27–42)....................73
Chapter Five – No Limitations (Acts 9:36–43)....................95
Chapter Six – Crystal Clear (Acts 11:1-18)....................117
Part 2 – Show Him the Passion of Paul....................139
Chapter Seven – A Powerful Name (Acts 11–13)....................145
Chapter Eight – His-story Lesson (Acts 13:16–30)....................163
Chapter Nine – Mistaken Identity (Acts 14)....................185
Chapter Ten – Recruiting (Acts 16)....................207
Chapter Eleven – A New System (Acts 17)....................227
Chapter Twelve – Going for It (Acts 27)....................249

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