I am an army veteran. During my 12 years of service I served with the Parachute Regiment and the Special Air service. I saw active service in the Falklands war of 1982 and the first gulf War of 1990/91. I also completed a number of tours of Northern Ireland during the 1980's.
During my service I witnessed sights and events that no human should ever have to endure. I have opened fire on the enemy and been shot at by them too. I have also been involved in several proxy bomb attacks. I have also seen human devastation as a result of war and the impact it can have on soldiers both physically and mentally. As a result, I too have been scared for life. The images of dead people both friend and foe are never far away and often come crashing back into my conscious with a huge flash bang.
Although I only admitted to myself that I was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder a few years ago, I realise that I have really been suffering from it virtually all my life. Even as a child I witnessed horrific child abuse at the hands of my Stepfather.
When I tell people that I suffer from PTSD, they often reply I know someone else who has that too. And quickly change the subject, almost embarrassed for me having the condition.
I have written a few books about my traumatic childhood, my military career and the way that I behave due to the PTSD. And although I may have mentioned the odd nightmare in those books I haven't talked about them all.
This short book is my attempt to enlighten anyone who is interested, about the way PTSD affects sufferers sleep and as a result, their every-day lives and mental wellbeing. People only tend to notice our outbursts and strange behaviors, and they write us off as a bit dodgy. They hardly ever wonder or ask what has caused us to be having a bad day today?
All of the dreams mentioned in this book are real dreams that I have had and remember very vividly.