The Ether

The Ether

by Bill Buck

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The Ether is a collection of poetry that spans the spectrum of human emotion and a quarter century of the authors life, including the loss of his best friend and the rekindling of his long lost love. Yet it is not just his stories they tell.

These poems chronicle a spiritual and philosophical awakening and journey They explore the pain and ecstasy of recognizing truth and following wisdoms path They reveal the discovery and decision to live within the light of love no matter what the cost All through captivating adventures that perhaps mirror some of your own.

It is hoped that you, dear reader, embark upon this journey into and within the spiritual Ether with the intent to awaken to the beauty, light and love that is here for all of us. It is us.

Set sail on the trip of a lifetime, and live free in your lifetime the beautiful, exquisite time your life is meant to be. Seek it. Find it. Claim it as your own. The Etherit is your connection to everything.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781504346313
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 02/12/2016
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 368
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

Bill Buck has traveled the world as an insurance investigator specializing in fine arts, diamonds, explosions, fraud and arson. He is working on a series of mystery novels based on his insurance investigation cases. Bill Lives in Chicago and is the father of four boys and has a grand daughter.

Read an Excerpt

The Ether

By Bill Buck

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2015 Bill Buck
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-4632-0


Part I


Yellow Daffodifs

* * *

I walked into the forest, why was
I scared?
I've been there before, its just been-
I guess many - many years

The place of comfort, of endless time
The place where I am hers and she is mine
Where my mind is ripped open, my soul
naked and bare
Where she listens, we listen, no one,
everyone is there

We open we close - a private place to rest
Our restless hearts our hopes our dreams
Each holding the others' to their breast

Softly, softly, the memory unfolds
Life's dream meaning, to love and be loved
This minuet, this moment, this memory is life's
love to us ... pure gold.


* * *

My separation is but a short while now
I'm still at the stage that it is not more
than a furrow in my brow

But what of the time when it
breaks its silent scream
and begins to bite, to chip, to infect
my sweetness, my dream

Or will it be sweet sorrow
The passions cup to fill
My separation to draw my lover
closer still

What of this alien, to be S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E
To test, aye to tempt the
hand of fate

And will we, my lover and I
suggest this alien, nay to allow it
to draw upon our slate


* * *

Walls are to keep fear out
but do they
Walls are a lie
They keep fear in
They keep freedom in a box
my life in a box
to atrophy

I say to fear
Return to the pit
where all lies begin and end


* * *

The bursting of the silence
One admitting one denying
The bleeding wound
broken open

It drips on the floor
It cleanses
The cathartic balance
The touching of burning hearts
The undeniable

The smiths hammer on the moment
shaping another delicate piece
The sculpture of their love


* * *

Written in the stars
needs of this tiny world
We were chosen
We were given
love like ours

Yes, for each other
But too, for the rest
that they may see
Begin to understand
why life is hard
Why the test

The capacity opens up
The circle enfolds
All life with love
An expression, a meaning
Time less ness untold

The yearning we all have
to know time less love
the true meaning of life
the pure expression
the flight of the dove

Life's Light

* * *

Realizing in an instant
the reason he was here
That first glimpse of her
at the top of the stair

They entered the life
The beauty of the place
surrounded them so
It became their face

She never fully knowing from the beginning
what she meant to him
He not protecting his treasure
They suffer, whirling in this ignorance
The consequence – so grim

No loss of true love
for true love knows no end
Recognition of true love, late
that sadness only time can bend

The layers of time, years spent
in quiet hibernation
To stir at special occasions
The feelings of true love lost
of guilt to desperation

But if true love was lost
these feelings have no reason
But if only sleeping
they are but to awaken
in the time of their season

So to spring true love waits
The warmth of the sun
The gentle rain's dance

Birth pains, springs hour
The beauty once hidden
True love's bloom
True loves flower

Indian Ways

* * *

The would be warrior
searched for the perfect cedar
It must show to those
who would see, those who would know

The story of this totem
to the blind
is a story of the past
To those who know
is The reality, the only thing
that will last

The great thunderbird
empowering the man
to ride the whale
What is this power
to ensure he will not fail?

At first a curious place
a curious thing
Young sexual love
appeared to be the dream
But the connection was then made
The real plan was laid

They became part of the plan
It became part of them
like the air they breathe
becomes part of them
Together they weave
They have been chosen
Together they are woven

The thin thread
strong and unseen
for so many years
The only connection to the dream
tugged at their hearts
and at times it seemed
was just pain, of love gone away

But the thread held them together
and bound them forever
to that greater than themselves
to the story told
at the totem pole

Sins of the Father

* * *

Rejection, the small one
does not understand
He looked up, he stretched out
but instead he got
the back of a large hand

This brings independence
aloneness, even in a crowd
Living a clear life outside,
inside, a cloud

Till he meets freedom
One who gives for no reason
This can not be true
She can not be kind
This is what he knows
in the covered recess of his mind

Lightning strikes
Blindness sets in
Darkness – the world of darkness
Can it get darker still?
Self imposed hell
The Lie

The Battle
Missiles of drugs
Bombs of sex
Reign of alcohol

The dawn
Light through the cracks
The darkness flees
The soul set free

On his death bed
the father said
son, be happy
Now, once again
he can start
to follow his heart

Whose Kidding Me

* * *

I miss her so much I'm sick
or am I scared?
I see her picture and
fall in love again
Is love to be feared?

I love her, I know I do
Do I love me?
Why do I fear my heart
Damn convention!
Let me be!


* * *

How can it be
that my lover's lips are
to me
The softness
in the spring rain

And how can it be
This softness to me
turns to color and beauty
just as the rain
on the hillside
turns to wildflowers

Oh my love, may your
kisses rain on me
Your soft lips
turning my perception
my life
to such a splash of color and beauty

Touch Eternity

* * *

Let me relish the moment
Take care of this thought
The realization of a dream
came but once in a lifetime
Grab it, lest it be for naught

Taste the realization
as it comes to its fruition
The essence of life
like a lingering perfume
staying long after
The beauty of the woman's presence
has left your sight

Oh life, you are being given to me!
To remember this moment
To live it again in my memory
To burn it in permanently
To remember why I am here
To touch eternity

Cloak & Dagger

* * *

The tables turned
but their hearts still yearned
to touch in that place
that special space
that love let them in

So they had Plan A
So they had Plan B
But all they knew
all they could see
was that place
that special space
that love let them in

Running scared
It was not love they feared
but broken dreams
with them playing the scenes
of love put away

So instead
they played out their parts
to follow their hearts
to that place
that special space
that love let them in

22 Summers Lost

* * *

With no change of seasons
who can count the loss
of 22 summers lost

We can't go back
We can only move on
The past is done
It will sweeten the yon

Daddy's Little Girl

* * *

Can you see me
Do you know me
Daddy's little girl?

I'll fix your hair
in a pony tail
I'll fix it in a curl

I'll walk with you
talk to you
take you around the world

You're my dream
My darling thing
Daddy's little girl

What is your name?

You Are My Reason

* * *

You are my reason
You have become my season
The season of my life
The rightness of my life

From the darkness into the light
You into me
Touch the light
Call to me
Touch the light, call to me, my love

Why the Cardinal

* * *

The bright red streak
flashes past my view
turning the greys and pastels
of early spring
to remind me of something old
and something new

The brightness of sweet memories past
You know, the good ones
The ones that last
Like the strength of the color red
to remove the sadness
of loved ones dead

The flight of the cardinal
Red pointed dart
Fly me to the future
Fly me to my bright new start
Remind me why I'm here
Remove my sadness
Remove my fear

Go the Distance

* * *

If we don't know
How can we go
the distance

No promises to make
I can't give you one to take
she said

I'll go the distance alone
I'll run out the time towards my home
her embrace

I'll not do it sadly
I'll run the distance gladly
my love

Mirror Image

* * *

She sees him
Takes herself
off the shelf

She dusts herself off, and says
"Is that me I see?"

Phase IV / At the Door

* * *

As I walk through the door
entering Phase IV
I think of my boyhood
That was real scary, real good

Teen age, the years of rage
Till near the end
Rounding the bend
of this phase
she came to know me

It was a spring- time
A life - time
A love - time
Her time, my time, our time

But this was not to last
My head crashed
into a lie
Leading me to kill us
Leading me to die

I lived a numbness
a life lived outside
filled with killing things
filled with pride

But through the phase
through twenty years of days
was a thread
a light
that was not dead

Knocking on death's door
Having lived this phase
as the lies' whore
This thread of light
would at times pass his sight

It was at those times
he would recognize
he was living those lies
This kept him alive

It was that light
the true essence of himself
that raised his children
tapping true wealth

This kept him going
without his knowing
The life's light was going
to one day bring him full circle

Locked, encrusted inside
captive within layers of fear
layers of pride
The light grew in size
wanting to burst forth
Needing it badly

But it could not creep out
There was the lingering lie
The lie of self - doubt
Needing it badly
the crashing blow came
with one massive tragedy

The death of his counselor
The death of his friend
The death of his confidant
The fence to truth, now gone
That could not mend

Now a piece of him died
and with this death
a re-birth
The light inside
crashed through his pride
pushed the doubt aside

He has now walked through the door
entering Phase IV
Light shining from inside
He is alive!

Mr. Thoreau

* * *

Mr. Thoreau, Mr. Thoreau
Oh sage of wisdom
from days of old

I read your lines
many many times
I see the trace
of your so called
"Quiet Desperation"
on my face

But what is this
I see
If I knew of the
why am I not a
to it?

Flare Up / Melt Down

* * *

Was it safe
No it was not
He had to try
to cast his lot

The week in Chicago's
April fog and rain
Love's passion flared up
She capped it, said, "We must abstain"

She knows he loves her
at least that much is true
She would not say she loved him
but he cares not if he's the fool

His heart aches not for himself
Not for his unrequited love
But for her, in the prison of her making
His sweetness, now a caged dove.

So he dies as he sees her
slowly disappear
Love's flame to drown
The sadness, his heart in a pool around him
he died – melt down

Together Alone in Special Places

* * *

She is with me
body and soul
In my mind
this I know

Although I can not touch her
There is only distance between us
as I think of her
study her face in my mind
I can even smell her

As I wander special places
there will be glimpses of her
Tiny traces
The smile of a stranger
will remind me of her
The beauty of the Yosemite Valley
will bring her to me

Even closer our spirits come
wrapped in this beauty
of Yosemite Valley
We become one.

Yes and No

* * *

Alone is not ok
But I guess it's all right
to be in Yosemite alone
except for tonight


* * *

Event the best intention
can become misinterpretation
I took off my hat
It was full of dust
so I hit it against my knee
My mule was startled
He began to thrust
He began to flee

Woe boy, woe, says me
I didn't want you to thrust, boy
I didn't want you to flee
So the mule slows down
He turns and looks at me
He doesn't believe
But I can't take back the misinterpretation
It's simply not subject to retrieve

The Dogwoods

* * *

The dogwoods are in bloom
I hadn't seen them before
What a pleasant surprise
to come knocking on my door

Like the beauty of love to come
Who can describe a flower
not yet seen
Like trying to remember
a dream not yet dreamed

So come with me my love
Let us find flowers
not yet in bloom
Let's live our new memories
as beautiful music
in perfect tune

And in distant days to come
We will play the sweet music
of our perfect tune now past
Remembrance of the beauty and fragrance
of our garden of flowers will last

The Ultimate Nostalgia

* * *

To find my lost love
Is that you I see

To fall in love again
after so many years
with my long lost love
is worth all my tears
Finally an end to my fears


* * *

So I see
a gal with her guy
and a guy with his gal
That's different than just a guy and gal, you know
Arm in arm
She fusses with his t-shirt
pats him on the tummy
Life can be so yummy

Cracks of Light / Cracks of Time

* * *

Push it down
Pack it away
Deal with the pain
some other day

Then he returns
from nowhere
back from the dead
Or was the memory of him sleeping
The thoughts are whirling
spinning in her head

Till a thought here
a memory there
stimulated by his presence
Opens cracks of light in
cracks of time
Feeling the pain
Feeling the love
Life's pure essence

As the spinning and whirling
begin to slow
Her understanding, her trust
begins to grow

The pain bitter
mixed with love so sweet
The cleansing, the catharsis
Unsure territory ahead
but from which she cannot retreat


Excerpted from The Ether by Bill Buck. Copyright © 2015 Bill Buck. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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