The Inner Workout: The Bridge to Emotional Fitness

The Inner Workout: The Bridge to Emotional Fitness

by Colleen Hoffman Smith, Susan Hoffman, Yanka

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Overview

Feel peace and love in your heart and your life. Create a strong and healthy self-worth through a daily exercise called The Inner Workout. Developed by author Colleen Hoffman Smith, this daily mental regimen can help keep you emotionally fit.

In this, her third self-help book, Smith provides instruction and a workbook to help you move through negative emotional pain to reach a natural state of pure love. Each day, this exercise is used to connect to your emotions, as you: Acknowledge your feelings Speak the voice of your feelings See the truth of what the experience and person is showing Release any thought that creates negativity Let go of anyone’s love and approval Forgive the other person and yourself Open your heart to love and peace Feel your compassionate heart and breathe fully The Inner Workout creates a daily support system to keep you connected to your personal strength, and it shows you how to create healthy relationships, communication, self-worth, and life purpose. It’s a complete guide supporting your journey to inner peace—taking you from A to BE.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781440160882
Publisher: iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date: 04/20/2010
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 256
File size: 2 MB

About the Author

Colleen lives in Ontario, Canada with her beloved husband Bruce and their reflection ignites many. They are inspired by their blended family of three beautiful daughters, Lindsay, Lauren, Jessica, their son in law Jason and their loving grandchildren Elijah, Mattea and Bella. Visit her online at www.theinnerworkout.com.

Read an Excerpt

The Inner Workout

The Bridge to Emotional Fitness
By Colleen Hoffman Smith

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2010 Colleen Hoffman Smith
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4401-6087-5


Chapter One

In The Beginning

Once upon a time, as a baby, love was felt and experienced all around me. Childhood experiences started to take me to other emotions such as fear, sadness, loneliness and sometimes feeling like a bad little girl. I would feel this unsettling sensation in my tummy ... like butterflies wanting to be set free, but I didn't know what to do or how to talk about it.

I am a triplet, Frannie is older and Philomene younger than me. We were fifteen minutes apart at birth and we attracted a lot of attention from day one.

When I started school, the excitement of many new kids and a whole world of activities were almost frightening. It didn't help, I am sure, that there were T.V. cameras everywhere as the local television station and newspaper reporters wanted to cover the Hoffman triplets' first day of school. We felt like show freaks; mom dressed us all the same and the other kids didn't come near us. Our tears spoke quickly to our mother and she never dressed us alike again.

The anxieties of making friends, and having good marks added more stress, and I learned how to shove away my own feelings of not feeling good enough and the fear of not being accepted. Childhood memories are our personal experiences held in the body. I see that I have relived these experiences over and over again, dressed up differently with different people and taking me back to the initial place in me where a perception about myself was formed.

School days continued to take me down the halls of fear and I can remember that every once in a while, something would come around a corner and create a drama. Personal experiences would take me into a wild emotional release or push me into the corners of my mind, leaving me withdrawn or speechless.

Life continued to lift me high with emotional excitement and confidence or take me down to the darkness of self-doubt and fear, again and again.

When everything felt good I was comfortable, but when things were uneasy, I didn't know how to take care of me. I wanted everyone else to be happy and I tried my best to be and do what I thought would be approved of.

Becoming an adult gave me a lot more independence and the scope to achieve the successes to make me feel accepted.

Life's disappointments and struggles would constantly force me to look at my self and my choices. My perceptions were being shattered and I see now that I was continually being awakened to the truth as I faced my fears and self-doubt issues.

My dreams started to turn to nightmares and my physical body started to wake me up to take responsibility. Personal loss and illness created the necessary turning point where I faced the reality of my life and had nowhere else to go but inside to feel the sweet pain of truth.

My sad story opened me to my heart connection and truth. We have all been taken to the darkness of our soul's calling, and now I recall the places I journeyed with my feelings and emotional pain as I met all of my greatest fears.

It was a time in my life when intense illness and extreme loss took me to my hell. It seemed that each day leading up to my breaking point, had a mountain of bad news that stepped into my world.

I now know that each struggle forced the energy to move through me and focus my attention on a new direction for my mind, body and spirit.

The details of this time of crisis brought me to an emotional connection that woke me up big time to a life perception correction. I always looked out side of myself for love and approval. One day my whole world fell apart as I knew it. This day became the beginning of my life as I live it now..... Emotionally Free and Emotionally Fit.

I cannot remember the exact timing of events; what came first or second doesn't matter because it felt like one black hole of bad luck.

Here is some background and how it unfolded. My international skin care and cosmetic company of eleven years, Goldlinx, was going under; I was in financial ruin. I was experiencing heart issues because of a minor heart attack. My second husband was having an affair and betraying me, both personally and professionally. My doctor informed me that I had first stage cancer cells in my cervix and I had to undergo treatment right away. To throw me right over the edge, my youngest daughter, Lauren, decided it was time that she go and live with her Dad.

With all of this emotional heaviness in my heart, along with the fear that paralyzed me, I woke up one morning with the truth that I didn't want to live like this any longer. All I ever wanted was love and peace in my life and in my heart. But how do I get there? I desired to be a good, loving mother and wife, and live with purpose; personally and professionally. Family, partnership and purpose were always important to me, and today I felt I was a complete failure in everything.

I was facing every bit of darkness in me. I walked into my closet and closed the door.

In the blackness of my heart, and this closet cave, I felt the emotional pain of my whole life. I felt like I was losing my mind as I fell into the tears of my heart. I cried for hours and released the intense self-hatred that was pouring out of me. I saw no way out, so I stayed here-inside with my broken heart.

I visualized my past life up to now, and I felt guilt, shame, resentment, judgment, disappointment, hurt, anger, and self-doubt. People and experiences were coming in and out of my vision; it was like I was watching a movie and I was the star. Curled up in fetus position, I felt the victim of my past and saw my co-dependant personality. Each choice I had made manifested my fears. I was wooed by the physical world of power, and my life totally disempowered me.

The pain in my heart felt like a shock treatment as I was feeling like a terrible Mother, an undesirable woman. I lost the light of my life; even my daughter didn't want to be with me. I was betrayed and humiliated by my husband. I felt so unworthy of love-I felt hopeless and helpless. I was financially devastated-I lost everything that was important to me. My future looked too hard to cope with. I was sick, sick and tired.

I moved in and out of my emotional release and projected my anger and rage. I felt so weak and vulnerable. I yelled to God and the Universe that I had enough.... I couldn't live like this any longer!

I emptied my emotions and I surrendered to the darkness. I cried until the tears took me into exhaustion. My spirit was lost and my soul was searching.

I took responsibility for where I was in my life, and in my heart. I found a space in me to rest, and peace began to flow into my heart. I slept inside this place with silence and solitude; I felt my soul was free and my spirit started to strengthen. I felt the healing.

I was waking up to a consciousness and awareness that suddenly took over. I was being guided by something that was so powerful and gentle at the same time. Even though it was dark here in my closet, my inner sight became so clear. It was like I was given a glimpse of who I am now and how I could live from the inside.

I was also gifted a process that would continue to support me emotionally. When I was visualizing myself on a bridge in nature, I felt so safe in my heart. As I felt myself connecting with my breath, calmness floated in my heart. I then saw myself as a little girl and I was so aware of her presence in me.

I remembered her energy and loving heart. I felt connected to this child and I put my arms around her. I opened my heart, and memories of my childhood started to come alive. I felt my heart fully as I said to her out loud; "I am here" "You are safe with me now" "Hold on tight, I can give to you now" "You are important to me. I am interested in you. I love you". My heart exploded with love.

This feeling was new to me, and later I realized that I was feeling self-love. I was giving to myself while feeling worthy of love. My Inner child was a symbol of my emotional body and this is where I could find my way to a connection with my compassion heart.

This was the beginning of my healing and I started to forgive myself and my unhealthy choices. I was in a place where light started to shine in the darkness of my heart. I now realized that the love was in me and was worthy of all of my desires. My fears were attracting experiences and relationships to bring up more fear and self-doubt.

Inner strength picked me up and I committed to move into my life with this connection each day. People noticed the difference in me

I opened the door of my closet and I was aware that I had climbed out of my black hole and was on a new pathway.

This exercise became my daily practice that I eventually called The Inner Workout(tm).

As my soul reclaimed its birthright of love and peace, I began to lift myself up to live with my spiritual connection. I couldn't deny myself this relationship with my emotional body any longer. I started to take responsibility and this process kept me there to feel and change my life from the inside.

My Inner Workout became a lifeline for me as I started to live with truth. Each day I use this exercise to connect to my emotions; acknowledge what I am feeling; speak the voice of my feelings; see the truth of what the experience and person is showing me; release any thought that creates negativity; let go of anyone's love and approval; forgive the other person and myself; open my heart to love and peace; feel my compassionate heart and breathe fully.

This awakening gifted me with The Inner Workout[TM]-I thought it was just for me; I didn't know that in time I would be sharing it with you, and with the world. This incredible process supports me daily in connecting with my emotional body and releasing the lies that stop me from feeling peace and love in my heart and my life.

When I found this important life tool, I committed to taking care of myself each day so that I would show up healthy in my mind, body and spirit. With this internal shift, my relationships became healthy, and the peace that I experienced manifested more love, taking me to healing.

As I acknowledged and released the dense emotional weight on the shoulders of my heart, the fear, resentments, anger, hurts, disappointments and self-doubt that I was living with dissolved, creating the connection to the love and peace waiting for me. I finally became aware of my part in my struggles and forgiveness set me free in my heart. My personal history needed to be resolved in me and The Inner Workout[TM] became my consistent exercise keeping me emotionally fit and this awareness was the bridge of my emotional freedom.

The Inner Workout Description Sit in privacy and quiet your mind. Breathe ....fully breathe into your belly. Be conscious of how you are breathing.

1. Connect Visualize a bridge in nature. See yourself walking on this bridge and be conscious of what is around you in nature. The sky, water, flowers, trees, birds, sun; the peace. Whatever you see.... be present with how you are feeling. Take each step and breathe. See a small child in front of you. You, when you were a child. Remember her or remember him. Breathing ... feeling. Say out loud to your inner child (the symbol of your emotions) "I am here, you are safe with me, I am sorry that I forgot you, I am here with you now". Hold your inner child like you yearn to be held. Feel your heart open and say out loud "I love you". Stay here and feel your heart connect to self-love.

2. Once you feel safe in this place inside. Invite someone on the bridge that makes you feel unloved. Some who you feel any negativity or that you feel not good enough with. Feel emotions rising up in you. Acknowledge what you are feeling. Express them with your voice ... connect with your fear, anger, resentment, Hurt, disappointment, guilt, shame, or self-doubt. Allow the feelings to be released as you speak to this person. Tell this one how you feel.... project out your emotional pain. Cry, scream, pound a pillow.... you can say anything while you feel. You are safe to release this pain or rage out of your body. Say things like "It's not good enough" "I hate how you make me feel" "You make me feel bad about myself" "You hurt me or you have betrayed me" "I feel anger, I feel disappointment" "I hate how you treat me" "I lose my voice with you" It's not good enough.... this is not good enough". Feel, Feel, Feel, Express, Release, Feel, Express, Release. Breathe.

Say out loud "I don't need your love or approval" "You are not responsible for my love" "You are not responsible for my pain".

Visualize an energetic cord connected to this person who triggers you. Count to three.... cut the cord. Let them go.

Feel the energy rise up in you. This is your life force. The love is in you. The peace is in you. Feel the connection to your compassionate heart as you

Say out loud, "I forgive you" "I forgive myself".

Feel your heart expand. Breathe. Feel your self lighter. The weight of emotional pain that you have been holding onto has been released. You are now empty. This person is not responsible for your love, peace, happiness or pain any longer. The pain is yours. The love is yours. The Peace is yours. Connect.

You can release all of your past emotional pain and history by putting any significant relationship on the bridge during this visualization. Use them to empty, and then open your heart to more love and peace that is waiting for you to connect to.

The Inner Workout[TM] Summary

Visualization on a bridge in nature.

Inner Connection with your emotions - visualize yourself as a child.

Inner Workout - Use someone who makes you feel unhappiness, self-doubt, anger, resentment, hurt, disappointment and invite them on the bridge and release your uncomfortable emotions through dialogue ... the voice of your inner pain. Acknowledge, take responsibility, feel, and release emotions.

Forgive

Reconnection - Reconnect with your compassionate heart.

Throughout this book, The Inner Workout and bridgework will be mentioned many times. Please refer to pages 165 - 174 for a full explanation of the process.

Eight years ago I started writing Pocket Guide to your Heart[TM]), the first of my trilogy of books. I was emotionally, physically and spiritually on my journey of getting well because of this formula that kept me emotionally fit. When I wrote book number one, I wanted to share my process that gave me the daily practice of taking care of me, releasing my history that I had shoved away so deep inside, and the personal connection to self that kept me authentic and truthful each day. This sacred place in me opened my life to conscious living and making healthier choices for myself and my family.

I tried very hard to step out of the way and to let go of control, as peaceful love wove through me and into my relationships. Attracting my beloved husband Bruce was no accident and the plan unfolded showing us both a safe place together to hear the voice of our emotional wounds and inspire each other to be all that we could be. My inner support system was carefully designed as I expanded personally and professionally.

I wanted every woman and man to experience the beloved in them and share it with another. Living healthy in a relationship was up to me and I then attracted a man who wanted the same for himself. My self-discovery within this union with Bruce allowed me the opportunity to let go of my past struggles that kept me living in unhealthy relationships. Letting go is what life is all about. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean that life is easy; it means that when struggle comes along, I have a process to help me find my way through the pain or fear allowing the ease of love and peace to filter into me and attract the life I want.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from The Inner Workout by Colleen Hoffman Smith Copyright © 2010 by Colleen Hoffman Smith. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgements....................1
Introduction....................5
In The Beginning....................7
The Inner Work.out Summary....................15
The Lie of Self-Doubt....................20
Our Childhood....................22
Family Dynamics Can Be The Root of All Evils or The Root of Love....................23
What Family Means to Me....................25
Give Yourself Oxygen....................25
Personal Awareness and Taking Responsibility for Negativity....................28
Anger....................31
The Raging Bull....................31
Anger Pollution....................32
Having a Voice - Standing Up To the Bully....................34
Dance in a Relationship of Respect....................34
Guilt keeps us separate....................36
Abuse....................39
Take Care of Your Own Needs....................50
The Expression of Anger....................53
The Inner Workout for Anger and Rage (A Visualization)....................54
Respect....................55
A Mother's Voice of the Heart....................56
Self-Worth/Self-Doubt....................59
In The Arena Of Judges, Self-doubt Is Magnified!....................61
Enjoy the Journey....................63
Guilt and Shame....................64
The Victim....................66
The Bully - How Do You React?....................67
The Victim - How Do You React?....................69
The Hero Is In You....................72
There is only love and fear!....................75
Underneath Every Struggle Lives Fear!....................75
Our Fear is just as important to feel as Love....................75
Who Saw the Snake?....................79
Ski Quest....................83
What a Privilege to Have a Child....................86
The Eye of the Storm....................89
Sometimes Family Experiences Are No Picnic....................89
The Simple Life....................89
A Family Crisis Can Bring A Family Together!....................91
The Center....................93
Balance....................96
One Foot In and One Foot Out....................96
The Flow of Your Own Creativity....................96
Discipline....................99
Alone....................99
Communication....................102
Barriers....................102
Negativity....................104
Family Love without Separation....................105
As parents we can learn from horses and the wisdom of The Horse Whisperer....................107
Body Language, Communication and Intimacy....................108
Freak Out....................110
Love Is Up To Us....................111
Good Attitude....................112
Releasing Your Past History....................115
Meditation - Movie of life....................117
Letting Go....................119
How can we become free?....................121
I Am Not My Mother or Father....................122
Silence and Shut Down....................122
Stepping Into My Parents' Shoes....................129
There Ain't No Mountain High Enough!....................133
Sibling Rivalry and Struggle for Attention and Love....................134
Compassion and Inspiration....................139
Dark Pathways to the Light....................139
Making a Healthy Choice!....................142
I continue to reach deeper within as life shows me where to go to feel and then experience freedom....................144
Take Responsibility - See the Truth....................145
Contrary and Negative People....................145
House of Peace....................147
Create Inner Peace ... Create a Safe Home....................147
There Is Never a Good Fight....................147
Freedom....................148
Making Others Comfortable....................149
Self-worth Values and Belief....................150
We Don't Need Our Parents' Love and Approval....................153
Stop, Look & Listen....................155
Be Present and Stay Connected....................155
24 HOURS - A Day in the Life of Mary....................156
What's Wrong?....................161
Reward and Punishment....................162
Discipline versus rules - Boundaries versus barriers....................162
We Are The Teachers We Are The Students....................164
Stop the Pattern....................166
Our Family Circle Is Our Template....................167
Life Changes Us!....................168
Miracles of Pain....................171
The Inner Workout for Negative Thought....................172
Financial Despair....................174
The Inner Workout with money deprivation/scarcity/issues....................177
Feeling Good In the Workplace....................179
Take Responsibility....................180
Goals....................180
Methods....................180
Our Image and Marketability....................181
Anatomy of Feeling Good....................189
Positive Love and Negative Love....................191
The Undertone of Fear and Uncared For Emotional Pain....................194
When The Truth Is Out....................196
The Beloved Lives In You - Be The Reflection Together....................198
The Miracle Of Birth and Death....................203
Emotional Birth And Death....................205
The Value of Self....................207
Forgiveness....................208
A Prayer of Forgiveness And Gratitude....................209
We Don't Know ... Until We KNOW!....................209
The Brilliance of the Body, Mind and Spirit in Union....................210
Meditation - Thanksgiving Circle of Love....................213
Guide Your Family to Safe Waters....................215
The Inner Workout - Workbook....................219
Releasing Personal History....................225
Bridgework:....................228
Clear Your Personal History....................228
The Inner Workout Worksheets....................231
To Be the Love....................239
About the Author....................241
Contact....................243

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