The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy

The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy

by Mary E. DeMuth

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Friends for a Season?

There's something wrong with your friendship, but you can't figure out why. Is everything in your head? Unfortunately, toxic friendships happen to everyone, but we seldom identify the underlying issues while we battle confusion or the friendship breaks up.

Maybe you're left bewildered in the friendship's wake, paralyzed to move forward.

After wading through several difficult friendships, Mary DeMuth reveals the seven different types of toxic relationships and empowers you to identify the messiest relationships causing you the greatest anguish.

  • Face the reality of your broken relationship, and unearth exactly what went wrong.
  • Discover why you may attract toxic people.
  • Heal from broken relational patterns so you can choose safer friends.
  • Evaluate when it's time to press into a friendship or let it go.

You'll gain a new relationship with Jesus as you trust him to be your confidant, healer, and life-giving friend.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780736974875
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: 10/02/2018
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 208
Sales rank: 42,918
File size: 909 KB

About the Author

Mary DeMuth is a writer and speaker who loves to help people live re-storied lives. Author of more than 30 books, including parenting books, Southern fiction, and a memoir entitled Thin Places, Mary speaks around the country and the world. She is the wife of Patrick and the mom of three adult children.

Mary DeMuth is a writer and speaker who loves to help people live re-storied lives. Author of more than 30 Christian living books. Mary speaks around the country and the world and is the host of the popular daily podcast Pray Every Day, where she prays for you every day of the year. She is the wife of Patrick and the mom of three adult children, currently living in Texas.

Table of Contents

Why You Need This Book 11

Part 1 The Deadly Friendships

1 Narcissist Nolan 25

2 Unreliable Uma 43

3 Predator Paige 63

4 Conman Connor 87

5 Tempter Trevor 103

6 Faker Fiona 119

7 Dramatic Drake 135

Part 2 How To Find Health

8 Joseph 153

9 Jesus 163

10 The Seven Life-Giving Practices 175

Notes 203

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The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy 4.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 15 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book gives insight into so many toxic relationships in my life. It provided a means to heal and learn from relationships that had hurt me for many years. Thanks Mary! "I received a free copy of this book and chose to leave a review."
VintageMommy More than 1 year ago
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a friendship where something seemed off? Maybe you felt like you were always walking on egg-shells. Maybe you braced yourself for the sales-pitch that you knew was coming. Maybe you always feel inadequate or unhappy after spending time with the individual. Our world is full of relationships and sometimes those relationships are unhealthy. Seven Deadly Friendships by Mary DeMuth is the first book I've ever read that deals head-on with a variety of unhealthy personalities as they relate to friendships. By the end of this book you will be able to identify toxic friendships in your life and know what to do about them. We can be so afraid of repercussions that we remain in close friendships we shouldn't have any part of. Other times there are relationships we cannot avoid for whatever reason, but if you can identify exactly what is going on you can be prepared and know how best to preserve yourself and others around you. The best part of this book is that it is steeped in God's Word. I love that the author's goal is to help readers heal from hurt without leaving bitterness behind. Satan's goal is to steal your joy and destroy your healthy relationships. This book will help you see where things are wrong, but will also give you the tools to move forward in a healthy, God-filled way! The tricky part is identifying which individuals are in your life because you need to deal with the different characters in different ways. I also think it is healthy to assess your own heart and make sure you are not slipping towards any one of these identities. We don't like to see ourselves as the problem causers, but if we as Christians took more time to invest in allowing the Holy Spirit to convict us, He could use us more fully and we may find the relationships around us becoming healthier! As I read this book I realized the Lord had already been teaching me much of this over the previous year and I personally used this book in a different manner. I quickly was able to identify some of these individuals in my own life. As I read I looked for ways to pray for them. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from relationships with toxic individuals, but what if that is not fully possible? We should recognize the role of prayer in these relationships. As I read I made a private list of ways to pray for specific people. Although there are times when friendships need to end, none of the relationships I was evaluating were at that point. I highly recommend this title!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I grew up with narcissism. Then, I married a narcissistic man. Mary Demuth explains why this is in her book The Seven Deadly Friendships. The answer is that I never healed, so I sought out my "normal". Normal is comfortable even when it is unhealthy. In this book, Demuth describes seven unhealthy friendships, but this could, also, be seven unhealthy dating relationships and business relationships. She gives examples, characteristics, and Biblical advice. I love how quickly this reads. It is very conversational. It is very relevant. If you have a tendency to go from bad relationship to bad relationship (relationship of any sort), you need this book. It will help you ponder, analyze, and heal.
MichelW More than 1 year ago
This book is amazing. It gives permission to discuss and maybe even end painful friendships, which is rare in the Christian world. We live somewhere in the tension between “loving your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31) and “there will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves…boastful…proud…abusive…without love…slanderous…have nothing to do with these people” (2 Tim 3:1-5). Mary does an amazing job of describing various toxic friendships as well as how to let go, heal, forgive, and even find reconciliation. By the end of this book, I better understood my role and how to move forward.
DHreader More than 1 year ago
Have you ever been in a friendship that was complicated? Then, you realized it actually felt toxic? When you spend time with this friend, you come away confused and exhausted. You wonder if you are the crazy one. You relive entire conversations with this person in your head trying to make sense of it. Maybe your friend is one of the seven deadly friendships Mary DeMuth discusses in her great new book! She takes the seven deadly sins from scripture (Proverbs) and shows what these look like in our relationships. The Seven Deadly Friendships helps you identify the toxic relationships in your life—the narcissist, the unreliable, the predator, the conman, the tempter, the faker and the dramatic friend. What does the Bible say about these types of friends? How are we to respond? How do we heal from one of these toxic relationships? And, could we be one of these types to friends? Checking ourselves. Then Mary DeMuth shows us "the redemptive hand of God in relational heartache" using Joseph and Jesus as our example. She gives seven life-giving practices that not only help us navigate the difficult relationships but "change our own view of life." From life-sucking to life-giving! This is a great book!
MistiG More than 1 year ago
In a culture where intimate, face-to-face community has to be more intentionally pursued, this book is timely and entertainingly instructive. Mary DeMuth includes tons of vulnerable and relatable stories of her own friendships that help identify possible toxic relationships you might be involved in, but what I love the most about this book is the hope it communicates. After discovering tendencies of a couple of these friendships not only in a friend but in myself, I was pleased when Mary served up redemption and healing in Part Two of the book. Her biblical examples of healthy relationships and her helpful practices for navigating today's friendships were a breath of fresh air. This is a must read for anyone wanting to be a healthy friend and to grow life-giving relationships.
JenniferKPowell More than 1 year ago
The Seven Deadly Friendships was difficult to read because of the truth it puts forth. In each chapter a harmful person is categorized and described and tips for avoiding or discerning their behavior is listed. It was painful to read about how people mistreat one another. But this book described some people I’ve known in my life and affirmed my decision to separate from them, even though it was difficult. All is not hopeless and difficult in the book. The second part focuses on healing using the examples of Joseph and Jesus from the Bible. I especially like when the author talks about discipleship and how messy it can be. “…where we really discern a person’s character is the way they walk through relational strife.” Yes, this is so important. I finished reading the book with hope that we can all find strength and healing even when those very close to us hurt us. Read this book to recognize deadly friendships and to separate and heal from those who have hurt you.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Every single one of us has been in a toxic, unhealthy, "deadly" friendship. We have all been touched by hurt, pain, betrayal, envy, drama, some even abuse. And this book is a healing balm to the parts of us that have been broken by such relationships. This book is for each and every one of us. The book is broken up into two parts: chapters on each of the deadly friendships, and a section on healing from those friendships. The chapters breaking down each deadly friendship were absolutely FASCINATING and eye-opening. (There is also a quiz to decipher what type of "deadly friendship" you are in on the author's website.) And it really helped me because I thought some relationships were a certain way, but I realized some of them were a mixture of a couple of the types of friendship. Although the one thing I wish was a little more discussed was how people can, in fact, be more than one of these relational types. Just like personality tests, where we are a mixture of those types, I feel like these deadly friendships are the same way. The second section on healing from those relationships was really great too. I love how the author shows that Joseph and Jesus were both faced with all 7 of these deadly relationships, and how they overcame them and healed from them. I highly recommend this book, and I am so grateful to the author for allowing me to be apart of the launch team and read an advanced copy!! However, this is 100% my own opinion and I recommend it to everyone who has been hurt by a relationship.
JH1972 More than 1 year ago
Mary DeMuth offers hope and healing to the hurting in The Seven Deadly Friendships. It sounds trite, but it’s true. The book’s convenient organization makes for easy reading, which helps balance the heavy nature of the topic. Each chapter of the first part contains the same sections: introduction, character traits, example stories, what the Bible says, what if this is me? Mary sprinkles hope throughout the entire book and focuses on healing in the second half. She wisely and beautifully points the hurting to Christ and also offers some practical advice. This is definitely a book you will want to make up and come back to multiple times. I received an advanced copy. I decided to leave a review.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
So, today, Mary released The Seven Deadly Friendships- How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy. And y'all, read this & you'll see why I say Mary blew me away, again! We all have the friendships where you give more than you get. Or the one where someone twists every single thing back to them so that they are the main attraction, always. Whatever your issues, Mary touches on a great many of them. And she speaks about how to handle them biblically. It doesn't have to be something we rehash over & over in our minds, bugging us to death. Through this book, I've been able to identify what is wrong in the friendship, and biblically process and deal with the relationship. Sometimes, it's best to roll up your sleeves and get through it, even when it's ugly, and sometimes it's just time to cut it out of your life. Mary walks readers through all of this in this wonderful book. By the time you're finished reading and dealing with your problem relationships, you walk away with it off your shoulders, really being okay about whatever the outcome. I highly recommend this book to anyone! (I received this book free in exchange for my honest opinion.)
EmilyBoyMom More than 1 year ago
Mary DeMuth has once again sent out powerful words into the world. Anyone who's experienced a strained relationship with a friend or family member can find wisdom and encouragement from "The Seven Deadly Friendships." There are specific chapters that set out problematic friend archetypes to help readers determine which friendship they are facing. Each chapter proceeds into areas some rarely talk about, a skill Mary deftly uses in all of her books. Being ready to face the challenge of one of these "seven deadly friends" gives the reader an opportunity to evaluate the present relationship, identify past relationships that were rife with trouble, and find ways to leave said friendships in a healthy, God honoring way. She also offers self reflection in the fact that perhaps, we, too have been a 'deadly friend' once and a while in our dealings with others. She uses the second half of the book to show us two major examples of people from Scripture who faced true relational issues-- Joseph and Jesus (along with Paul, John and a few others.) While a book of this type could be seen as a depressing topic, Mary does not leave you in the midst of struggle or strife. She offers Scriptural supports, encouragement and suggestions from counselors and other authors who excel in relationship building or repair. There are many resources notated that the reader could seek out if more discussion or help is needed in the future. Mary does what she does best: raw, authentic, introspective writing that continues to deliver hope, even in the midst of challenging circumstances. We do not have to be held hostage to other people's bad behavior, but that also doesn't eliminate ourselves as possibly being the type of friend that needs a reboot in order to be a better friend. I also pre ordered a copy of this for myself all the way back in April, as the subject matter touched my heart. I received an advanced readerPDF copy to review. All opinions are my own.
CatherineM1018 More than 1 year ago
I can’t recommend this book enough! As I read The Seven Deadly Friendships, I kept thinking one thing over and over: This message of this book is so important. Living in a fallen world, we are bound to have deadly friendships—and they never leave us the same. And as the Mary DeMuth points out, Christians are not immune to destructive friendships—in fact, sometimes we are more susceptible to them because of our desire to show grace. Toxic friendships are a tactic of the enemy to create destruction in our lives, churches, and even threaten to sabotage healthy relationships. This book is a must-read for all who want to heal from past hurts, guard ourselves against future toxic relationships and consider whether we ourselves are deadly friends. The Seven Deadly Friendships is easy to read, well-structured and biblically-based. The author guides the reader through identifying deadly friendships (based on the biblical seven deadly sins found in Proverbs 6), and how to respond to these relationships biblically while pointing us to the ultimate Healer, Jesus. I loved the fact that Mary never lost sight of biblical truth; and her honesty about her struggles with her own deadly friendships—even admitting the times when she’s been a deadly friend to others. Another benefit of this book: It will give you a new appreciation for your healthy, life-giving friendships—they are God’s blessing to us!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
When I first received my advance copy of this book, I really didn’t think that it would apply to any current friendship in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of toxic friendships. I read the book with mild interest and acknowledged that Mary outlined several key issues that can occur in relationships. She had a few memorable quotes. My life moved forward and I stored the book on my iPad. Things seemed to be going along fine until a friend became a bit toxic! I was shocked at first and assumed it must be me! But as I was praying, this little book came to mind! I discovered several things I had left I unexamined in this particular friendship. You may not think you have any need of this book but I suggest that you purchase and read it. Unfortunately, life happens. While all your friendships may appear safe now, I highly suspect at some point you will be in need of counsel in regard to a caustic one. This book offers help and healing. It is Biblically sound. I think it is a great resource for any of us living in a world where other people exist!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am so grateful for this book! It has been helpful for me to process some difficult friendships in my own life. It is a great resource for navigating friendships. Whether you find yourself in a hard friendship, or you want to learn how to be a better friend. This book will provide you with practical application, Biblical truth, and encouragement to become and find good friends. Pick it up! Even if you do not need this book, you probably know someone who does. Be a good friend, and pass it along. I received a free copy of this book and chose to leave a review.
Morgan_Sugg More than 1 year ago
We have all experienced the highs and lows of friendship. But there are those friendships that have lefts us with more hurt and questions than we would ever really like to admit. When this happens, we tend to question ourselves and what we did wrong or could have done differently. In the book Mary give clear insight into the reality of the friends that hurt us. She helps you gain perspective on the type of friendship you may have encountered or may encounter in the future. She gives practical advise on how and when to move forward. She points our red flags. But most importantly she gives sound biblical advice on friendships, deadly ones, and what we should do to heal from the past and be aware moving forward! I received an Advanced Reader Copy from the publisher.