What Would Machiavelli Do?: The Ends Justify the Meanness

What Would Machiavelli Do?: The Ends Justify the Meanness

by Stanley Bing

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Overview

What Would Machiavelli Do?

  • He would feast on other people's discord
  • He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either
  • He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry
  • He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward
  • He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control
  • He would use other people's opinions to sell his book!

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780061755804
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 10/13/2009
Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 176
Sales rank: 156,129
File size: 860 KB

About the Author

Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Crazy BossesWhat Would Machiavelli Do?Throwing the ElephantSun Tzu Was a Sizzy100 Bullshit Jobs . . . And How to Get Them, The Big Bing, and The Curriculum, as well as the novels Lloyd: What Happened, You Look Nice Today, and Immortal Life. By day he is an haute executive in a gigantic multinational corporation whose identity is one of the worst-kept secrets in business.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xi
Preface xiii
Introduction xvii
What Would Machiavelli Do?
He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others
1(2)
He would be unpredictable, and thus gain the advantage
3(3)
He would be in love with his destiny
6(2)
He would be, for the most part, a paranoid freak
8(4)
He would always be at war
12(4)
He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies
16(5)
He would have a couple of good friends, too
21(1)
He would acquire his neighbor
22(3)
He would think BIG
25(2)
He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes
27(2)
He would kill people, but only if he could feel good about himself afterward
29(8)
He would fire his own mother, if necessary
37(4)
He would make a virtue out of his obnoxiousness
41(3)
He would be way upbeat!
44(1)
He would be satisfied with nobody but himself
45(2)
He would treat himself right
47(5)
She would view her gender as both a liability and an asset
52(6)
He would use what he's got
58(2)
He would embrace his own madness
60(4)
He would do what he feels like doing, you idiot
64(5)
He would say what he felt like saying
69(2)
He would delegate all the crummy tasks, except the ones he enjoys
71(1)
He wouldn't exactly seek the company of ass-kissers and bimbos, but he wouldn't reject them out of hand, either
72(1)
He would respond poorly to criticism
73(1)
He would carry a grudge until the extinction of the cockroach
74(3)
He would lie when it was necessary
77(4)
He would be proud of his cruelty and see it as strength
81(4)
He would kick ass and take names
85(4)
He would permanently cripple those who disappoint him
89(4)
He would torture people until they were only too happy to destroy themselves
93(3)
He would feast on other people's discord
96(3)
He would make you fear for you life
99(2)
He would be loyal to the people who could up with all this
101(5)
He would have no patience for anyfuckingbody
106(1)
He would screw with people's weekends, wedding plans, open-heart surgery...
107(1)
He would put it in you face
108(2)
He would realize that loving yourself means never having to say you're sorry
110(7)
He would have no conscience to speak of
117(3)
He would scream at people a lot
120(3)
He would establish and maintain a psychotic level of control
123(4)
He would follow the money, honey
127(4)
He wouldn't be afraid to sling that bullshit
131(6)
He would eat to kill
137(5)
He would never retire
142(2)
He would have fun
144(1)
Afterword: What Would Machiavelli Not Do? 145

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What Would Machiavelli Do?: The Ends Justify the Meanness 3.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 12 reviews.
kd9 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I love Stanley Bing. I even loved his podcasts early in 2006. I have been known to really laugh out loud reading his essays. But this book is just mean. Maybe I have worked for too many people following these rules and succeeding. All I can say is that I never laughed. I rarely cracked a smile. I'm glad this book was short, because the sooner over, the better.
JonathanGorman on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
An amusing diversion from some of the touchy feeling "fictional" management accounts I'm reading. Funny, with some rather sharp jabs at some of the people at the top of the food chain. One might get tempted to start acting like Stanley Bing recommends in the book. Don't. You're not smart enough or dedicated enough.Unless you are, in which case you didn't just listen to me.He manages to capture some of the essential principles of Machiavelli: Work hard. Gather information. Control people and pay close attention to their actions and motivations. Bing just adds another twist. If you are good at being a Prince, you can also be an obnoxious, whiny, manipulative infant. To a point.
ngennaro on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
4/2004 I have mixed reviews for Stanly Bing but this is one of his best. It is amazing how some people think especially as you get up into the stratosphere. The executive quotes starting each chapter are classic.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
While this book was written with the business world in mind it is written in a way that you can transfer Machiavellian philosophy into your every day life. The main goal of the book is how to be the best ass hole you can be, and trust me it is a step by step on how to be just that. Even if you're happy with being a good person it is still an interesting read from a philosophical perspective. I highly recommend it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
VERY funny stuff! If you have ever wondered what senior management is thinking, this offers a nice window into the process.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is entertainment, not knowledge or advice... The author doesn't get Machiavelli.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This 'historian's' view of history as solely what is funny enough to sell books is inaccurate and foolish. If you want to learn about the political writings of a man who is still used in government today, might I suggest The Prince! Save this for when you are short on toilet paper!
Guest More than 1 year ago
All of you who have ever wondered how the idiot who is above you got there might want to read this. Written tongue in cheek style I think it will make you laugh while provoking some insight. The guy at the top of your company probably fits this profile somewhere. Easy to read.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Its not very often that a book can make me laugh out loud but I found one that can! I cant say I agree with everything in the book but I understand it. Very well written and fun to read. A definate addition to the book self!
Guest More than 1 year ago
When are writers going to stop over- simplyfying Machiavelli's works? Certainly not with Bing's little book. An ambitious person in business would do well reading Machiavelli straight without the aid of Bing's book or ones like it. Bing only reinforces the typical and boring myths about a man who was a true genius and whose works deserve to be carefully studied by those in business. Bing is way off target. If your serious about getting to the top, I recommend buying 'The Discourses' or 'The Prince' and avoid this one altogether.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was great. You'll read it and think to yourself, 'I could never do that to someone', then 2 days later you're laying into someone at your office and loving it!! This is not a blue print for how to be a bad person, rather some sound, in-your-face facts about what you'll have to do to get ahead. This book is for anyone who has aspirations of sitting at the head of the table in their company's board room.